Four Weeks To Save The World

So here it is - it's now less than one month until I come home! It's come so fast, but even though it's so near it really hasn't hit me yet.

Durban has become to me a new home. It's not somewhere where I have lived - it is home. Even more than being able to get a sun tan in winter (like today at the beach where it was 27C), the people I know, the sights I see, the culture all around, and the fact that it in some way feels uniquely "mine", mean that I'm going to be very sorry to leave.

But I must look forward, and there is much to look forward to. It will be great to be back with so many other great friends, to be close to Mandy, to be a part of a couple of great weddings this summer, to see family, etc. That's just catching up on things that I've left, but there's also whole new things with teaching (though there's still no definite road forward before 2009), being involved afresh and from a new perspective with where Beulah Family Church has gotten to, working with new people, and just getting into a new stage of what God has for me in my life. Even looking recently at this spate of horrible youth killings in London has spurred me to pray. Something stirs deep within me, and I just know God is going to bring a powerful response to this situation. If he should use me, then let Him use me. As the least suited of pretty much any person it will only serve to clearly show His surpassing power.

I feel stirred also to see what God will do with some other things. I think being here in SA has definitely helped me to be a lot more nuts and bolts at times, and to just get on with things. I'm much more in the frame of mind to just push the boat out a bit when it comes to evangelism and mercy to the poor.

I've also been doing a fair bit of writing in the last few months. I'm putting together all of our series on money into a book that Hope Church is going to use in Durban, and potentially elsewhere. I've helped produced Connect/Cell Group training manuals, and am still expanding it, as well as a manual for doing "ministry" in terms of praying for people. Along with preaching, it's a lot of writing and communication, and I think it's helped sharpen the things God has put in me. I think this writing thing is going to go a lot further too. I feel a burden to somehow take it outside of the church (though equipping believers is a huge passion of mine) and into the world - to make the mind of God known on the things that are happening in our days. I don't even know where to begin, but it still stirs a sense of excitement in me as I think about what God may do.

I am also excited to see what God is doing in me with regard to my character. It's been painful, and will continue to be so, but God has been dealing a lot with my stubborness and outright arrogance. There's a long way to go, I'm sure, but God is repeatedly on my case at the moment. It's so amazing.... things can go from crushing failure to amazing success in almost no time at all. I think an awareness of how we're not sufficient to boast of anything in ourselves (which comes after failure) means that God is right on board and working alongside the humble attitude that should be there always. What a thought - that perhaps the biggest obstacle to the work of God in our lives is ourselves. Our pride is like a tap, that opens or closes the flow of God's gracious working around us. That's why things can change so quickly, I think - because a big change has happened in us, meaning God works, and all the results depend on God. I'm sure there'll be a lot of the "same old Cook" when I get back, but God is doing something too - putting in such a bigger heart. My focus is usually first and foremost on "being right". If I'm wrong, I'm wrong, but my concern is on what's right, and then on making sure I'm in line with that. But just as faith and knowledge without love are nothing (1 Cor 13:1ff), so rightness/correctness/truth without love is also nothing. In fact it just mutates something beautiful into a monster - a harsh measuring line that only exposes inadequacy. In essense it's law, which may be right, but leaves things unchanged and only gives a verdict of right or wrong. But grace is love, the love God is. Grace does not compromise, but it does change. It doesn't just confirm itself as being right, but makes other things right at its own expense. God once spoke to me and told me I'm like Judge Dredd, "I AM THE LAW". But by his grace He's helping me to be grace to others, not law - to be loving and upbuilding and not just right (which I'm often not anyway!). This is just a continuation of a long journey, but it's good to see that it is continuing, and I do look forward to seeing some of its new fruit in days to come when I'm back home.

So in these last few weeks in Durban I've still got a lot of tying up to do, things to see, and people to say goodbye to. After three weeks I think my car insurance claim is finally in the right department (after numerous phone calls!), and so hopefully it will be done by the time I leave.

Anyway, nothing too new or profound at the moment. By now I've either got used to things in SA where I don't really comment on them so much now, or I'm just settled enough that nothing new is really happening. But you can check out my Flickr page (link on the left), as I've uploaded a whole lot of pics of where I've been and what I've done since January. Enjoy! See you in four weeks!