If I needed further proof that nothing is going to be straightforward over here, this weekend sealed it!
Firstly the magazine I've been designing for the church (apparently I am like the second saviour of Hope Church because I can use Photoshop and CorelDraw with some proficiency!) was going well until yesterday. I'd spent all week designing, modifying, consulting, searching for artwork, etc. To meet our print deadline I had to work on it on Saturday and I went to open the file and "BOOM!" CorelDraw says, "no"! Somehow it just wouldn't have it. I went to the backup and all was well. Just one of those things, I thought. Wrong. So after working on it for another 5 hours on Saturday and splitting it into two smaller files (in case file size was the previous problem) I'm just ready to come back to it and save it in final form when the same problem happens. ARGH! I can't open saved files because Corel just crashes! Even earlier versions are not loading. This is seriously bad - a week's work down the tubes and one very disappointed church leader. So we tried it again today and for a brief moment it worked (long enough to get our print versions ready). But when we tried to change some mistakes the same problems came back and we just cut our losses and went with what we had. Scary moments though!
As if that wasn't enough there was another hiccup the same day. My friend Niemesh, who is now in Durban, was kindly going to bring a case full of stuff for me. I'd looked (so I thought) or Virgin's page and was sure it said, 2 x 23kg bags allowed in economy. Anyway, he got to Heathrow and they wouldn't take my bag! Not only that even some of the more urgent items that could have (and should have come) as hand luggage were left in the case! So my dad went and picked it up, and at least it's all there. Still, got to look at shipping some stuff now!
I think I'm going to use this last month to illustrate James 1:2-4
"Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness. And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing."
For all the problems I'm actually in good spirits and things are really looking like they're going to open up into some great work over here. I'm sure none of this will be wasted!
Sunday 30 September 2007
Saturday 29 September 2007
Stitched up or stitched in? - Part 2
You might well be wondering what more there is to say about the matter of Saabine, but I do want to tell you how immediately and powerfully God has bolstered me with grace through this event.
Thursday when I returned home from the office was the first time I've really prayed since I got here. Oh I've prayed much, but this was the first time I really prayed and where it was like an open dialogue with God. Through the first period here I've been buffetted with loneliness and isolation (net going down, no phone, not knowing anyone, etc) and really it exposed to me a lot of how mediocre my spiritual could be at times when it drifts along. Being here as well I've not really done anything life-changing (for my life or others) yet, not seen where it will come into play. In fact what I have seen has generally led me to realise I have precious little to offer this nation in terms of common ground, and works of faith powerful enough to really lift people's eyes beyond the often suffocating pressures of their lives here. So really I've been praying to God, "C'mon! Do something with me and develop my faith, or this trip will be a pointless painful experience." Wednesday night (before I took the car in to garage) I began to see a little evidence of something coming. Reading The Pleasures Of God, by John Piper, has been good food for faith, pointing me to remember that from beginning to end it is all God's work in me - even to this point. As the Bible says,
"Work out your own salvation with fear and trembling, for it is God who works in you, both to will and to work for his good pleasure."
And,
"I am sure of this, that he who began a good work in you will bring it to completion at the day of Jesus Christ."
God has never ceased to work in me and on me for one moment. Should He remove his buoying of my faith it would sink like a rock. The evidence that God has always done this is that I've endured and there is no endurance without it. For His own pleasure and the sake of His name God has carried this work forward of his own accord and own means for all time and will continue to do so for all time - God will do what I have asked, and is even the cause of my asking!
So, Thursday was the first time I've really prayed in that almost effortless way that comes when God is on you - not me trying to find something to say, but letting out what the Spirit has birthed in me.
The first thing to be faced was my whining about earthly trouble and inconvenice. God was directing me to real hope, not the hope of an easy life on this earth. It still amazes me how naturally I tend to want and even expect that when the Bible is replete with statements that say it is not so, that the road leading to life is narrow and hard, that in this world we will have trouble, that God is shaking this world so that the unshakeable will remain, etc. But real hope is for far more - for all things restored in the return of Christ and our heavenly inheritance in Him. I told God, "I don't want a small hope based in earthly things - increase my hope of heaven!" In the Bible the word hope is both a verb (something you do, e.g. I for heaven), but also a noun (e.g. heaven is my hope). When talking about it as a noun the Bible is always clear that it is a sure, certain, unshakable, imperishable hope - i.e. that the thing we hope (anticipate, or long) for is not in any way uncertain but instead a thing that already exists and will never fade away. "Hope" therefore never expresses lack of certainty (like, "I hope it doesn't rain later", but lack of possession of what we hope for. That's why the Bible asks, "Who hopes for what he already has" (Romans 8:24)? The Bible is clear that a rightly placed hope is a powerful thing that both honours God (to hope in anything else is idolatry) and motivates steadfast endurance (1 Thessalonians 1:3) in doing the works God has called us to. My hope is certainly far more aflame than before!
What these troubles with money do also is test my faith. Already I've had to battle with things just to get here and rely on God to help me get things sorted. He had always said that it was not just teething trouble, but that this sort of trouble and deliverance would characterise my time here throughout. As I'd already hinted before the fact that I might just live quite comfortably would be a bit of a barrier here too when it comes to identifying with the people I want to reach. While I don't pretend for a second that being a bit hard up at times makes me able to relate to people who live in shacks and often have to choose between shelter, clothing, and food, having a slight chafing is a good way to keep conscious that these people live with this and far worse all the time. While I may not fully understand it will help me not to be ignorant or presumptuous, so that's another bonus.
"Faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen" (Hebrews 11:1). Faith, it says, is like spiritual eyesight that gives assurance (just like regular eyesight does) and conviction of unseen (with the eyes) things. It's the evidence, not the conclusion from the evidence. Just as someone might ask, "What colour is the sky?" you would reply, "Blue." "How do you know?" they might ask, to which you could say, "Because I can see it!" Your sight is the evidence you need. So it is with faith - seeing things that cannot be detected with the 5 senses and ultimately needing no further proof (though further proof is always nice, because the question, "Am I seeing things?" is relevant for both kinds of eyesight!). So many of the things I say are faith evaluations - not meaning they're speculation, just that not everyone accepts the grounds on which they're made. When I say, "God is responsible for the situation I'm in" that's a faith evaluation.
The point is that I need a lot more faith! Faith gets built, it doesn't arrive from heaven in a package pre-assembled (generally speaking), and that's what is happening here. I both need to rely on God to make sure I have enough for my needs, but also need faith to continue to give what it's not "safe" to give. That last sentiment hits at the core of what I believe God has been saying throughout the last few months and in all these problems I've had and found solutions to. What makes something "safe"? Well, in terms of money we look and think that if we have a certain amount that that will cover us in the case of any forseeable problems. We trust that the money itself is stable in value/ability to help (which is so often is not!), also that it will stay where it is (not stolen, defrauded, etc), and that it will be enough to help. So we trust that it is stable in power and availability to help. It's not an assessment without merit, but it's far from the full story. The Word of God says that, "Man shall not live by bread alone, but by every word that comes from the mouth of God" (Matthew 4:4). It's commonly said what it means is that we need God's word more than food (which is true), but the context Jesus quotes it from in Deuteronomy confirms that what it means is that man doesn't live by the power of bread to provide life to him, but by God's say-so (word) - his deliberate activity in all things to do what He wants them to do. God is orderly and makes the universe to run according to a certain order (so bread tends to feed you, things that go up come back down, etc), but it's one He's free to change at any moment, just as I can rearrage my CD collection. So Jesus was saying, after 40 days of not eating, "I don't need to make bread in this case because God is showing me that I don't need that to live - it's just a means by which my Father gives his care to me" (after this time he continued to use the regular means that you and I use!). So it isn't the breadiness of bread that sustains Jesus, it isn't the fact that money has some power to sustain me, and it isn't that air keeps me alive by it's own power. These things all do something, but the reason is not in themselves, but in God! That's the lesson!
(Darn! I need the ability to put footnotes in! Okay, when you see things in this format, feel free to skip over them! Anyway, I know some systems of belief thing along similar lines, but go crazy in that they would say things like, "If you throw a ball into the air it might come back down, or it might decide to suddenly go sideways, etc.... it all depends on what God decides to do with it!" As such things like science and learning how things work in such contexts are impossible because they work according to no order or pattern in a general sense but according to the random will of God. But God is not random! He is ordered even in what He is, and He has no curiosity to satisfy by doing weird things, He doesn't change, etc. Hence I can believe that God deliberately chooses everything, but still live a generally everyday life setting alarm clocks, cooking, driving, etc!)
So my VISA and all its requirements that I needed did not get sorted out because the systems and things I used had the power to do it, but because God had said, "I am sending you to Hope Church Durban!" and so made everything else to serve that purpose. So when I see food on my table, or I enjoy good health like I did yesterday, it truly is God I have to thank. Also it means faith is not only expressed but built. When you see God's works of love and care at every step of your life it helps you believe for a few more!
And that's where this is headed. I believe all out that God does miraculous works - not just unlikely ones (what people would generally call providences or coincidences), but ones that defy all non-God-centered logic, like storms being stilled at a word (Mark 4:35ff), or people unable to walk getting healed and discarding their wheelchairs, or people with sight disorders that meant they could never read being able to read instantly because God has healed them (like at Newday this year). I know there are phonies out there, I know weird stuff happens everywhere, but I believe it is God and God alone that does them (whether people know it or not) and I believe He does them primarily through His people and in the name of Jesus. It's a "faith evaluation", but also one that I increasingly see confirmed all around me en masse. Anyway, for the last couple of years I've moved from a general skeptic to someone who believes God would do such miracles in his own life. At present I have seen no one miraculously healed through my ministry though and that's a plain fact. Mostly I've been too tentative to actually pray for people, but when I have it has yielded no results. I must continue to believe what God has said however!
One of my main reasons for coming to South Africa was that the brothers we know here seem to do more of this stuff than people we know in the UK - seeing healings and also seeing people change their lives in response to preaching the gospel. I realise I need to learn, and you learn from people who know. It looks so far like I'll not have anyone who'll be a consistent challenge to me, but I will have a challenge here, I'm sure, and I will grow in this thing.
So why learn that nothing happens but by the say so of God? Well because it means that miracles (as in the direct action of God on the physical world) happen all the time, and that any miracles "proper" (the uncommon direct actions of God on the physical world) are essentially the same thing! Nothing - not one thing - happens apart from God's sovereign action, everday things and miraculous things. People do not get healed because of the power of belief (big relief!) or by the power of prayer or by any power except the power of God! Prayer, and faith, are things that cause God to respond however, and faith is ultimately what he's after more than the healings and miraculous works. So what I must learn is faith, and that's what all this mess with Saabine is growing in me. I very much prayed beyond my circumstances and asked God to carry on growing my faith so that I believe him for all the works He wants to do.
Thus far I had prayed much about hope and faith. But as the Bible says, these are useless without love. Seeing more and more the needs, the people, the desperate state of the nation and the continent, I want to do something and know that only God has the resources to make a difference! I prayed that God would help me to get into the places I need to go to, to not stay secure in a cosy environment, to not give into fear of what might happen, but have faith that He will do all His good purpose for me.
May it be that my faith is increased and works more and more through love (Galatians 5:6), remaining steadfast in the hope given me through the sacrifice of Jesus Christ!
Thursday when I returned home from the office was the first time I've really prayed since I got here. Oh I've prayed much, but this was the first time I really prayed and where it was like an open dialogue with God. Through the first period here I've been buffetted with loneliness and isolation (net going down, no phone, not knowing anyone, etc) and really it exposed to me a lot of how mediocre my spiritual could be at times when it drifts along. Being here as well I've not really done anything life-changing (for my life or others) yet, not seen where it will come into play. In fact what I have seen has generally led me to realise I have precious little to offer this nation in terms of common ground, and works of faith powerful enough to really lift people's eyes beyond the often suffocating pressures of their lives here. So really I've been praying to God, "C'mon! Do something with me and develop my faith, or this trip will be a pointless painful experience." Wednesday night (before I took the car in to garage) I began to see a little evidence of something coming. Reading The Pleasures Of God, by John Piper, has been good food for faith, pointing me to remember that from beginning to end it is all God's work in me - even to this point. As the Bible says,
"Work out your own salvation with fear and trembling, for it is God who works in you, both to will and to work for his good pleasure."
And,
"I am sure of this, that he who began a good work in you will bring it to completion at the day of Jesus Christ."
God has never ceased to work in me and on me for one moment. Should He remove his buoying of my faith it would sink like a rock. The evidence that God has always done this is that I've endured and there is no endurance without it. For His own pleasure and the sake of His name God has carried this work forward of his own accord and own means for all time and will continue to do so for all time - God will do what I have asked, and is even the cause of my asking!
So, Thursday was the first time I've really prayed in that almost effortless way that comes when God is on you - not me trying to find something to say, but letting out what the Spirit has birthed in me.
The first thing to be faced was my whining about earthly trouble and inconvenice. God was directing me to real hope, not the hope of an easy life on this earth. It still amazes me how naturally I tend to want and even expect that when the Bible is replete with statements that say it is not so, that the road leading to life is narrow and hard, that in this world we will have trouble, that God is shaking this world so that the unshakeable will remain, etc. But real hope is for far more - for all things restored in the return of Christ and our heavenly inheritance in Him. I told God, "I don't want a small hope based in earthly things - increase my hope of heaven!" In the Bible the word hope is both a verb (something you do, e.g. I for heaven), but also a noun (e.g. heaven is my hope). When talking about it as a noun the Bible is always clear that it is a sure, certain, unshakable, imperishable hope - i.e. that the thing we hope (anticipate, or long) for is not in any way uncertain but instead a thing that already exists and will never fade away. "Hope" therefore never expresses lack of certainty (like, "I hope it doesn't rain later", but lack of possession of what we hope for. That's why the Bible asks, "Who hopes for what he already has" (Romans 8:24)? The Bible is clear that a rightly placed hope is a powerful thing that both honours God (to hope in anything else is idolatry) and motivates steadfast endurance (1 Thessalonians 1:3) in doing the works God has called us to. My hope is certainly far more aflame than before!
What these troubles with money do also is test my faith. Already I've had to battle with things just to get here and rely on God to help me get things sorted. He had always said that it was not just teething trouble, but that this sort of trouble and deliverance would characterise my time here throughout. As I'd already hinted before the fact that I might just live quite comfortably would be a bit of a barrier here too when it comes to identifying with the people I want to reach. While I don't pretend for a second that being a bit hard up at times makes me able to relate to people who live in shacks and often have to choose between shelter, clothing, and food, having a slight chafing is a good way to keep conscious that these people live with this and far worse all the time. While I may not fully understand it will help me not to be ignorant or presumptuous, so that's another bonus.
"Faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen" (Hebrews 11:1). Faith, it says, is like spiritual eyesight that gives assurance (just like regular eyesight does) and conviction of unseen (with the eyes) things. It's the evidence, not the conclusion from the evidence. Just as someone might ask, "What colour is the sky?" you would reply, "Blue." "How do you know?" they might ask, to which you could say, "Because I can see it!" Your sight is the evidence you need. So it is with faith - seeing things that cannot be detected with the 5 senses and ultimately needing no further proof (though further proof is always nice, because the question, "Am I seeing things?" is relevant for both kinds of eyesight!). So many of the things I say are faith evaluations - not meaning they're speculation, just that not everyone accepts the grounds on which they're made. When I say, "God is responsible for the situation I'm in" that's a faith evaluation.
The point is that I need a lot more faith! Faith gets built, it doesn't arrive from heaven in a package pre-assembled (generally speaking), and that's what is happening here. I both need to rely on God to make sure I have enough for my needs, but also need faith to continue to give what it's not "safe" to give. That last sentiment hits at the core of what I believe God has been saying throughout the last few months and in all these problems I've had and found solutions to. What makes something "safe"? Well, in terms of money we look and think that if we have a certain amount that that will cover us in the case of any forseeable problems. We trust that the money itself is stable in value/ability to help (which is so often is not!), also that it will stay where it is (not stolen, defrauded, etc), and that it will be enough to help. So we trust that it is stable in power and availability to help. It's not an assessment without merit, but it's far from the full story. The Word of God says that, "Man shall not live by bread alone, but by every word that comes from the mouth of God" (Matthew 4:4). It's commonly said what it means is that we need God's word more than food (which is true), but the context Jesus quotes it from in Deuteronomy confirms that what it means is that man doesn't live by the power of bread to provide life to him, but by God's say-so (word) - his deliberate activity in all things to do what He wants them to do. God is orderly and makes the universe to run according to a certain order (so bread tends to feed you, things that go up come back down, etc), but it's one He's free to change at any moment, just as I can rearrage my CD collection. So Jesus was saying, after 40 days of not eating, "I don't need to make bread in this case because God is showing me that I don't need that to live - it's just a means by which my Father gives his care to me" (after this time he continued to use the regular means that you and I use!). So it isn't the breadiness of bread that sustains Jesus, it isn't the fact that money has some power to sustain me, and it isn't that air keeps me alive by it's own power. These things all do something, but the reason is not in themselves, but in God! That's the lesson!
(Darn! I need the ability to put footnotes in! Okay, when you see things in this format, feel free to skip over them! Anyway, I know some systems of belief thing along similar lines, but go crazy in that they would say things like, "If you throw a ball into the air it might come back down, or it might decide to suddenly go sideways, etc.... it all depends on what God decides to do with it!" As such things like science and learning how things work in such contexts are impossible because they work according to no order or pattern in a general sense but according to the random will of God. But God is not random! He is ordered even in what He is, and He has no curiosity to satisfy by doing weird things, He doesn't change, etc. Hence I can believe that God deliberately chooses everything, but still live a generally everyday life setting alarm clocks, cooking, driving, etc!)
So my VISA and all its requirements that I needed did not get sorted out because the systems and things I used had the power to do it, but because God had said, "I am sending you to Hope Church Durban!" and so made everything else to serve that purpose. So when I see food on my table, or I enjoy good health like I did yesterday, it truly is God I have to thank. Also it means faith is not only expressed but built. When you see God's works of love and care at every step of your life it helps you believe for a few more!
And that's where this is headed. I believe all out that God does miraculous works - not just unlikely ones (what people would generally call providences or coincidences), but ones that defy all non-God-centered logic, like storms being stilled at a word (Mark 4:35ff), or people unable to walk getting healed and discarding their wheelchairs, or people with sight disorders that meant they could never read being able to read instantly because God has healed them (like at Newday this year). I know there are phonies out there, I know weird stuff happens everywhere, but I believe it is God and God alone that does them (whether people know it or not) and I believe He does them primarily through His people and in the name of Jesus. It's a "faith evaluation", but also one that I increasingly see confirmed all around me en masse. Anyway, for the last couple of years I've moved from a general skeptic to someone who believes God would do such miracles in his own life. At present I have seen no one miraculously healed through my ministry though and that's a plain fact. Mostly I've been too tentative to actually pray for people, but when I have it has yielded no results. I must continue to believe what God has said however!
One of my main reasons for coming to South Africa was that the brothers we know here seem to do more of this stuff than people we know in the UK - seeing healings and also seeing people change their lives in response to preaching the gospel. I realise I need to learn, and you learn from people who know. It looks so far like I'll not have anyone who'll be a consistent challenge to me, but I will have a challenge here, I'm sure, and I will grow in this thing.
So why learn that nothing happens but by the say so of God? Well because it means that miracles (as in the direct action of God on the physical world) happen all the time, and that any miracles "proper" (the uncommon direct actions of God on the physical world) are essentially the same thing! Nothing - not one thing - happens apart from God's sovereign action, everday things and miraculous things. People do not get healed because of the power of belief (big relief!) or by the power of prayer or by any power except the power of God! Prayer, and faith, are things that cause God to respond however, and faith is ultimately what he's after more than the healings and miraculous works. So what I must learn is faith, and that's what all this mess with Saabine is growing in me. I very much prayed beyond my circumstances and asked God to carry on growing my faith so that I believe him for all the works He wants to do.
Thus far I had prayed much about hope and faith. But as the Bible says, these are useless without love. Seeing more and more the needs, the people, the desperate state of the nation and the continent, I want to do something and know that only God has the resources to make a difference! I prayed that God would help me to get into the places I need to go to, to not stay secure in a cosy environment, to not give into fear of what might happen, but have faith that He will do all His good purpose for me.
May it be that my faith is increased and works more and more through love (Galatians 5:6), remaining steadfast in the hope given me through the sacrifice of Jesus Christ!
Thursday 27 September 2007
Stitched up or stitched in? - Part 1
This morning started out so well. Though I got up at 6:30am to go to take my car to Key Pinetown, the Saab dealer nearby, I was altogether refreshed and not feeling like I should at that time in the morning. We found the place easily enough and the car made it there without any serious complaints. I was even more heartened when I spoke to the mechanic about the symptoms I had noticed on the car, particularly the scraping over speed bumps. He said it was almost certainly the little protective flap that was drooping down and that they used to get hundreds of calls when still selling the Saab 900 from people worrying that their new car was already falling apart. So the oil leak and the scraping noise were probably not related, which increased the odds that the oil leak was something quite minor. I went into the office hopeful of a happy outcome to the day.
Then it came - the phone call. Things were more serious than I had suspected and I was actually right when I guessed at the oil leaking from the transmission (the bits that turn the engine drive into power at the wheels through the gears). Though there was some oil leakage from a few minor seals on the engine, the leak I was spotting was the one that was allowing oil out of the join between the gearbox and the engine - about the next most crucial place after the engine itself! The mechanic had quickly located that oil was coming from there in little drips, but after removing the dust cover he could see a bunch of sealant over the manifold - something that's not supposed to be there! Removing it to see the condition of the actual parts underneath a whole lot more oil came out and confirmed something was serious wrong in there. What he found was that some parts were definitely broken, and some are more than likely broken also and the cause of it all (though it's impossible to tell the exact extent of the problem until 3 hours or so into dismantling the entire transmission). Worse still is that oil has leaked into the clutch, which does explain an odd thing that happened to me only a couple of times in the first seconds after starting the car when the clutch just 'bit' suddenly. There's a few hoses in not so good condition (what makes the slightly odd noise at certain turbo pressures) and another couple of minor things, but the whole thing is set to cost me.... wait for it.... R14,000, or £1,000 to repair! Suddenly that R5,000 discount doesn't seem so significant, but boy am I glad I got that at least!
So as you can imagine that was pretty hard news to take - particularly as I don't have that sort of money just cosily lining a savings account or something. I wondered, "Did I make a mistake? Was I presumptuous? Was I seduced by a plush car and now am paying the price for my vain ways? What was the cause of this bad thing happening to me? Where was my part in it?" But the more and more I searched I could find no to why I personally should be on the receiving end of this - my conscience was clear.
It's always tricky in such situations because it's very easy to doubt both your recollections and your honesty with yourself about your motives. But my Bible tells me that one's own conscience can be a credible witness about one's own motives. Paul could write:
"For our boast is this, the testimony of our conscience, that we behaved in the world with simplicity and godly sincerity, not by earthly wisdom but by the grace of God, and supremely so toward you." (2 Corinthians 1:12)
He is seemingly quite happy to give the "testimony of conscience" as admissible evidence, and so with me also I found that all the evidence pointed to me doing nothing wrong (in this case!). I looked at all my motives and could not but come to the conclusion that I didn't act out of greed or vanity or arrogance, but actually frequently laid my ambitions before God and submitted myself to His guidance. So the question remains - why does something like this happen to me when I've given up home and comfort to obey God, and when I've humbly asked for His direction and wisdom to help me on a good path ahead?
On a human level someone has obviously stitched me up good! It could be the dealer I bought it from - seeing they'd landed a duff car they had their mechanic patch it up well enough to get it through a test drive and the Roadworthy (kinda like MOT in SA) test, and then shift it to someone unsuspecting. However it could well have been a previous owner - landed with a hefty repair bill he decided to patch it up and take it to a dealer for part exchange or something similar. Certainly the dealer I bought it from will have cars pass through their hands all the time and won't know the ins and outs of every vehicle they sell. In any case all cars sold at this dealership (and most like it - at the low end of the market) sell cars "as is", i.e. no warranty, because they're all going to have something not quite right. Whoever it was, making them legally liable would be a long process and in this case almost certainly unsucessful as it could have been done by a number of people at a number of times. So I'm stuck with the short end of the stick. God knows whodunnit though - a holy God who hates deception and unequal balances.
But every Christian must look beyond human causes to both every trial and even every blessing. Ultimately it is God:
"Does disaster come to a city,unless the LORD has done it?" (Amos 3:6)
"I form light and create darkness, I make well-being and create calamity, I am the LORD, who does all these things" (Isaiah 45:7)
And in the words of the archetypal sufferer without apparent cause, Job:
"Shall we receive good from God, and shall we not receive evil? ... Naked I came from my mother’s womb, and naked shall I return. The LORD gave, and the LORD has taken away; blessed be the name of the LORD." (Job 2:10, 1:21)
As I've written before now, nothing happens apart from by the say-so of God - nothing! Certainly he had the ability to stop me from buying the car. Anything from a leading of the Holy Spirit - like a spiritual "gut feeling" - to making the sealant break on my test drive, even just a little, so I could see the oil come out when I looked intently for it upon returning to the dealership. As much as I've been sticthed up by a man, God has definitely stitched me up!
But that's not quite right. Whereas man means to stitch people up for harm (and for his gain), God means it for good (Genesis 50:20), and actually does good through the hardship he has directed at his dear son. This is what it means when the Bible says, "And we know that all things work together for good for those who love God and are called according to His purpose" (Romans 8:28). God has not stitched me up, He's stitched me in - in to a situation where I must trust Him a lot more, where I must excercise my faith, where I must cling close to him because comfort is not close!
And this is where life is at its best. Jesus says, "I have come that they may have life and have it to the full". God is not happy with "adequate" for us, he is zealous for the best, which is Himself. He uses rough equipment at times to polish and shape faith, which he says (in 1 Peter 1:7) is more precious than perishable gold (and more precious than R14,000, I might add!). It may mean difficulty and deprivation, but the result is something far more precious. The Bible says that these light and momentary troubles are not worth comparing to the eternal weight of glory that is being stored up for us by them. Instead of having static possessions and lack of problems, God leads us to a daily renewing as we look not to the things that are seen (which are so quick to appeal when they look good), but to the eternal things that are unseen, and are far, far better (2 Corinthians 4:16ff). In short God withdraws our passing earthly joys to load us up both now and later with far greater ones that are based in Him. Faith allows us to see the good plan, to receive comfort from it, and also to begin to enjoy the God who's "stitched us in" to His own great and everlasting glory.
Whether big or small (as this case is in a life or death sense), that is how a Christian deals with trouble, and that is how I am receiving this hard end of the love of God. What I see is not disaster or the absence of care, but the presence of God's purposeful and ever-loving intervention in my life. To human logic this sort of thing signals God is not for me. To the eye of faith it is clear testimony that the God who sacrificed His own Son on my behalf is very deliberately for me!
Then it came - the phone call. Things were more serious than I had suspected and I was actually right when I guessed at the oil leaking from the transmission (the bits that turn the engine drive into power at the wheels through the gears). Though there was some oil leakage from a few minor seals on the engine, the leak I was spotting was the one that was allowing oil out of the join between the gearbox and the engine - about the next most crucial place after the engine itself! The mechanic had quickly located that oil was coming from there in little drips, but after removing the dust cover he could see a bunch of sealant over the manifold - something that's not supposed to be there! Removing it to see the condition of the actual parts underneath a whole lot more oil came out and confirmed something was serious wrong in there. What he found was that some parts were definitely broken, and some are more than likely broken also and the cause of it all (though it's impossible to tell the exact extent of the problem until 3 hours or so into dismantling the entire transmission). Worse still is that oil has leaked into the clutch, which does explain an odd thing that happened to me only a couple of times in the first seconds after starting the car when the clutch just 'bit' suddenly. There's a few hoses in not so good condition (what makes the slightly odd noise at certain turbo pressures) and another couple of minor things, but the whole thing is set to cost me.... wait for it.... R14,000, or £1,000 to repair! Suddenly that R5,000 discount doesn't seem so significant, but boy am I glad I got that at least!
So as you can imagine that was pretty hard news to take - particularly as I don't have that sort of money just cosily lining a savings account or something. I wondered, "Did I make a mistake? Was I presumptuous? Was I seduced by a plush car and now am paying the price for my vain ways? What was the cause of this bad thing happening to me? Where was my part in it?" But the more and more I searched I could find no to why I personally should be on the receiving end of this - my conscience was clear.
It's always tricky in such situations because it's very easy to doubt both your recollections and your honesty with yourself about your motives. But my Bible tells me that one's own conscience can be a credible witness about one's own motives. Paul could write:
"For our boast is this, the testimony of our conscience, that we behaved in the world with simplicity and godly sincerity, not by earthly wisdom but by the grace of God, and supremely so toward you." (2 Corinthians 1:12)
He is seemingly quite happy to give the "testimony of conscience" as admissible evidence, and so with me also I found that all the evidence pointed to me doing nothing wrong (in this case!). I looked at all my motives and could not but come to the conclusion that I didn't act out of greed or vanity or arrogance, but actually frequently laid my ambitions before God and submitted myself to His guidance. So the question remains - why does something like this happen to me when I've given up home and comfort to obey God, and when I've humbly asked for His direction and wisdom to help me on a good path ahead?
On a human level someone has obviously stitched me up good! It could be the dealer I bought it from - seeing they'd landed a duff car they had their mechanic patch it up well enough to get it through a test drive and the Roadworthy (kinda like MOT in SA) test, and then shift it to someone unsuspecting. However it could well have been a previous owner - landed with a hefty repair bill he decided to patch it up and take it to a dealer for part exchange or something similar. Certainly the dealer I bought it from will have cars pass through their hands all the time and won't know the ins and outs of every vehicle they sell. In any case all cars sold at this dealership (and most like it - at the low end of the market) sell cars "as is", i.e. no warranty, because they're all going to have something not quite right. Whoever it was, making them legally liable would be a long process and in this case almost certainly unsucessful as it could have been done by a number of people at a number of times. So I'm stuck with the short end of the stick. God knows whodunnit though - a holy God who hates deception and unequal balances.
But every Christian must look beyond human causes to both every trial and even every blessing. Ultimately it is God:
"Does disaster come to a city,unless the LORD has done it?" (Amos 3:6)
"I form light and create darkness, I make well-being and create calamity, I am the LORD, who does all these things" (Isaiah 45:7)
And in the words of the archetypal sufferer without apparent cause, Job:
"Shall we receive good from God, and shall we not receive evil? ... Naked I came from my mother’s womb, and naked shall I return. The LORD gave, and the LORD has taken away; blessed be the name of the LORD." (Job 2:10, 1:21)
As I've written before now, nothing happens apart from by the say-so of God - nothing! Certainly he had the ability to stop me from buying the car. Anything from a leading of the Holy Spirit - like a spiritual "gut feeling" - to making the sealant break on my test drive, even just a little, so I could see the oil come out when I looked intently for it upon returning to the dealership. As much as I've been sticthed up by a man, God has definitely stitched me up!
But that's not quite right. Whereas man means to stitch people up for harm (and for his gain), God means it for good (Genesis 50:20), and actually does good through the hardship he has directed at his dear son. This is what it means when the Bible says, "And we know that all things work together for good for those who love God and are called according to His purpose" (Romans 8:28). God has not stitched me up, He's stitched me in - in to a situation where I must trust Him a lot more, where I must excercise my faith, where I must cling close to him because comfort is not close!
And this is where life is at its best. Jesus says, "I have come that they may have life and have it to the full". God is not happy with "adequate" for us, he is zealous for the best, which is Himself. He uses rough equipment at times to polish and shape faith, which he says (in 1 Peter 1:7) is more precious than perishable gold (and more precious than R14,000, I might add!). It may mean difficulty and deprivation, but the result is something far more precious. The Bible says that these light and momentary troubles are not worth comparing to the eternal weight of glory that is being stored up for us by them. Instead of having static possessions and lack of problems, God leads us to a daily renewing as we look not to the things that are seen (which are so quick to appeal when they look good), but to the eternal things that are unseen, and are far, far better (2 Corinthians 4:16ff). In short God withdraws our passing earthly joys to load us up both now and later with far greater ones that are based in Him. Faith allows us to see the good plan, to receive comfort from it, and also to begin to enjoy the God who's "stitched us in" to His own great and everlasting glory.
Whether big or small (as this case is in a life or death sense), that is how a Christian deals with trouble, and that is how I am receiving this hard end of the love of God. What I see is not disaster or the absence of care, but the presence of God's purposeful and ever-loving intervention in my life. To human logic this sort of thing signals God is not for me. To the eye of faith it is clear testimony that the God who sacrificed His own Son on my behalf is very deliberately for me!
Sunday 23 September 2007
My first day
So.... this Sunday was my first one at Hope Church Durban - the core of my purpose in coming here.
It's always interesting seeing how reality differs from expectation, and this Sunday was certainly different from what I expected, though not bad.
This weekend was an unusual one to start with as the majority of the leadership are at our conference in Johannesburg. Also it's a holiday weekend here (Monday is a public holiday) so lots of people are away in general. That's meant a lot of reshuffling to make the travelling act that is a church plant happen this week, meaning I hit the ground running on the setup team and also working with the 9-12s group immediately after being introduced to the church.
As I said, this church plant is like most in that it has no fixed premises of its own, meaning that everything has to be set up each week and everything has to be taken back down. It takes a remarkable commitment of teams across the church to make this all happen. All our gear is stored in a trailer in a garage and that has to be hitched up to a suitable vehicle and brought over to Glenwood Prep School where we meet. It's a funny thing to see a church meeting collapsed into a regular trailer and bundled into a garage. If anyone ever wanted an example that the glory of the church is not in its outward appearance then this is it! All the stuff is then unpacked and set up by a variety of people. Those on the setup team start at 6:45am for a 9:00am meeting (if the meeting were any later it would just get too hot when it comes to summer time) and do everything from fetching big stacks of chairs from the other side of the school site to posting direction signs around the neighbourhood so people know that this building is where we are, because there's no other clues! And whatever goes up must come down, so at 11:00am or so the same people (although graciously helped by others) are loading up the trailer and moving more chairs and so on, now in a lot more heat! It's a tiring service, and it's remarkable to see literally a few dozen people all scurrying about like this in one way or another to set up from scratch each week.
One of the benefits is that the church is completely mobile this way. There's no reliance on a fixed premises, or even a fixed way of doing things. So when a team from Leeds came out last month they were able to set up a very similar thing on the university campus. People get used to expecting that they'll all have to pitch in and set up loads of stuff if they want to do anything, so it just gets done. I guess that's it - there's a "get it done" attitude rather than one of convenience. It also builds lots of teamwork, character, and relationships, and develops talent in a lot of people as they learn to set up PA, or run the hospitality, etc. When churches like this grow bigger and get a building of their own they often have the great opportunity to continue with the norm of high participation and so can continue to accomplish great things as lots of people just carry on serving even though there's less to do. As much setup is a trial of church planting, it seems very good at helping the church to develop healthily with everyone being involved, people working together, leaders mucking in at ground level, and developing a common sense of purpose and accomplishment.
Thursday morning Megan Land (pastor's wife) comes into the office to do some photocopying for the Kids' Church and basically says, "Because people are going to Jo'burg we're really short on people. Do you reckon you could take a group of kids?" I was under the impression that I'd have a bit more support than I did, but agreed to do what needed to be done as best as I knew how. She then mentioned that the group would be primarily composed of a group of half a dozen boys from the local township who've been coming along recently. Apparently I'm just what they need - a young (though they started the guessing for my age in the 40s!), authoritative male role model, so I was told I'd be fine. And on the whole it was. I think I expected them to be a lot more crazy than they were. It was weird.... a lot of the time they were very deadpan and didn't really respond individually, but only on group consenus. They were obviously not used to schooling nor to much organisation as they would wander off at times with seemingly no particular intention. It was very hard to gauge quite what these guys understood of the gospel, even of the idea of God, and also what their lives are like, so that made communicating quite difficult. However we did seem to build some repoire and have some fun. It was cool trying to learn how to pronounce some of the names, especially Xola, where the X is pronounced as a sort of kiss of the roof of your mouth. The best bridge builder turned out to be their ride home. They all piled into the back of Vernon (one of the church members) van and were driven to the Land's house, from which they can walk. I was dropping someone else to the same place and followed Vernon. The kids loved flying around in the back of the van and always wanted to go fast over speed bumps, etc. They were waving from the back, egging me on, getting me to catch up, and we had a fun little rivalry going on for a while. When they left they were all smiling and waved goodbye - it was the most responsive they'd been all day. I look forward to getting to know them some more. Moral of the story - the way to forge a good relationship with a 10 year old is to expose them to mortal danger by automobile!
So first Sunday down... I'm sure next week will be very different. But it looks like we've got a very good, diverse, God-glorifying church in the heart of Durban here, and long may it continue to grow!
Honeymoon over
It just had to be, didn't it? Yup, Saabine has already turned into a high maintenance woman as I'm finding she's leaking oil as she goes. Not sure what type of oil.... I'm suspecting something transmission related, but we'll see. Anyway, that's the fact of buying old cars - there's always some initial housekeeping to be done as you begin to find what sort of woman you married on your first date. My 306 in England was the same with leaking rear brakes right after I bought it. That turned out to be a really reliable car, so I hope the same is the case this time too.
Tomorrow is a public holiday, so Tuesday I'm gonna take it down to the nearby Saab place (fortunately of the half dozen or so in the country, one of them is not too far away up the road) and pray that it's not a costly repair! Anyone wanting to pray that I get it sorted quickly, cheaply, and don't get taken for a ride by an unscrupulous mechanic, I would greatly appreciate that.
I had really begun to develop a liking for this car (effortlessly speedy, comfortable, kinda stylish), and started to enjoy a little of the kudos that owning such a car brings in this setting, but this is a swift and timely reminder not to get too cocky about what I have (in any sense), nor to start thinking I'm going to have an easy ride over here with God just amply blessing me so much more than anyone else. It's a good reminder to have - that God would ween us off earthly passions and distractions and will not stop until He is our sole desire. He is loving enough that He will spare nothing to keep us from settling for anything less than His infinite, eternally satisfying self.
Tomorrow is a public holiday, so Tuesday I'm gonna take it down to the nearby Saab place (fortunately of the half dozen or so in the country, one of them is not too far away up the road) and pray that it's not a costly repair! Anyone wanting to pray that I get it sorted quickly, cheaply, and don't get taken for a ride by an unscrupulous mechanic, I would greatly appreciate that.
I had really begun to develop a liking for this car (effortlessly speedy, comfortable, kinda stylish), and started to enjoy a little of the kudos that owning such a car brings in this setting, but this is a swift and timely reminder not to get too cocky about what I have (in any sense), nor to start thinking I'm going to have an easy ride over here with God just amply blessing me so much more than anyone else. It's a good reminder to have - that God would ween us off earthly passions and distractions and will not stop until He is our sole desire. He is loving enough that He will spare nothing to keep us from settling for anything less than His infinite, eternally satisfying self.
Friday 21 September 2007
Isn't she lovely?
Stealing from Stevie Wonder aside, isn't she? Meet Saabine, named after Sabine Schmidt, the German racing driver who made a mockery of Jeremy Clarkson on Top Gear by almost beating his Nurburgring lap time in a Transit van (Because of this she's in some ways an ideal woman - a racing driver, gutsy, but not butch or laddish)! Yes, Saabine does include an extra 'a' to denote the fact that she is indeed a Saab 900SE 2.0 turbo (Yes, a turbo! :oD So like Sabine, Saabine is very, very quick!). I picked her up for the paultry sum of R35,000, which is about £2400, and in SA used car terms that is about as cheap as they come while still having four wheels! You would not believe the junk that I saw available for R35,000 - rust, bits missing, ancient, etc. So to get Saabine is a massive blessing. There are a few factors that have worked in my favour though.
The first one is that even though petrol is about half the price of the UK here, it's been going up recently and for local people it's actually considered quite expensive. So on the whole big cars with big engines don't have a lot of resale value - especially at the cheap end of the market where people are quite money conscious. So much is this so that when I saw the R40,000 asking price and suggested something more like R35,000 the dealer basically just agreed. Given the hilly terrain here and the fact that petrol is still cheap to me, I think a car like Saabine serves me a lot better than a tiny runabout that costs the same amount to buy and is in worse condition.
Secondly, big cars come with bigger servicing and repair costs, which people at my end of the market want to avoid. I did have to think quite hard about this one because anything seriously wrong with the car could be seriously expensive. At the same time, lots of things wrong with a cheaper car would ultimately cost me too. Saabine seems to be almost faultless, and even has a full service history, so for 10 months I should be able to (with the big executive car reliability) avoid any serious repairs. Any problems that do occur should be manageable too as labour charges are a lot less here than the UK, so a Saab dealer service might well end up cheaper than an independent service in the UK.
Thirdly, and most importantly, God has blessed me big time with this. I saw a few similar cars for similar money that were riddled with faults. I've seen other cars for similar money in terrible condition. I've seen a few half decent ones but with no air conditioning, and given that it's at times necessary now, come December-February (our summer) I would die without it! Having looked at a world map we're on an equivalent latitude to Cairo, Egypt, so think that sort of thing when you think how hot it gets. So I'm very thankful to God that He's given me a good car, that won't cause me too much hassle (I don't think), that will stop me passing out in the heat, and that will let me serve other people with lifts and moving things (essential in a church plant!) etc.
A car is also more than a convenience here. It's 13km (over 8 miles) from where I live to the church (though the roads are usually fairly good, which makes these sorts of journeys quite common), so there's no question of walking. Public transport doesn't even really exist where I am, as it's a more wealthy area in which everyone has cars. Even if it did, public transport is risky and very unreliable and generally only goes into the centre of town. It's not uncommon to see people walking the final leg, or even the whole, of their journeys, with many of them walking along motorways as an everyday occurance! There are many things like that that people do out of necessity which are just so unsafe. It's one of the things I will write about soon, but racial inequality is still something of a fact of life. While I've not seen too much overt discrimination, the fact is that virtually all the very poor people are black, there's a reasonable sized middle class that's quite mixed, and the wealthy are predominantly white (though a few black people have become exceedingly rich since the end of apartheid - much to the complaint of other black people who remained poor). That means the assumption is that if you're white you have a reasonable amount of money (which in this case is again true). So should I decide to get a bus, I'm instantly an advert saying, "I'm the best target to be robbed and I probably don't even know where I am." What I want to write about later is how this becomes a bit of a viscious circle - that no white people travel on public transport because they're a target, hence any that do will always be a target, hence they won't travel on the bus, and things stay the same. Changing social norms, especially where rich and poor are involved, is something that takes a long time or at least a violent change (e.g. Russian Revolution).
Anyway, I have a good tool to help me with some of the realities of Durban life. I intend to find ways to make sure I don't sink into the very common isolationist lifestyle that a good car and a secure home in a nice part of town means its so easy to do.
Thursday 20 September 2007
Surprises
Sawubona! (that's the standard Zulu greeting, and the first word in my Zulu vocabulary)
It's amazing to think that little over a week ago I was getting ready to go to Heathrow for my flight to Durban. I think 10 months will both go quickly and yet feel like it has been stuffed full of experiences.
I've had a few already, of all kinds. On Friday I went to a birthday party which was really a lot more like a church service in celebration of the birthday girl. The couple involved are friends of Hope Church as fellow church plant leaders in the Durban area (from NCMI - New Covenant Ministries International), and so I tagged along with the few who could tear themselves away from the England Vs SA rugby match on the same evening.
Where the party/service was was one of the surprises I've had since being here. We were in a large hall, not unlike a medium sized school assembly hall, in a township in Chesterville near where I live. You might be thinking, "How does a township with it's makeshift housing go together with a large meeting hall that's solid and well equipped?" I wondered the same thing! Apparently goverment iniative has decided to equip townships with some facilities to make them more amenable, but didn't think it better to give people proper houses! I'm sure it's not as simple as that (e.g. if you can't build everyone a new house then it's going to be pretty unfair; building something new and of decent size will probably mean tearing down neighbouring shacks; where to put people while new things are being built; the need to put in serious infrastructure like water and electricity before building), but it was a big surprise to see a large and modern facility laid out with posh tables and chairs and china, etc, in a typical poor township. These townships have been part of the landscape for so long now that their presence has become pretty accepted (there are road signs to the areas, for example, and then there are things like these permanent government built community facilities) even though they must have changed lots over the decades.
Anyway, back to the party. I was told to expect a massive culture shock and was more surprised by the lack of it really! There were not the numbers of people expected (we could easily have had double the number), and a large number of white people turned up too so it was probably about 50% white. Talking about it today, Drew, the leader of Hope Church, said that in his experience it was pretty common for Zulu people to behave a lot more in line with the white people when it is so mixed, and this was certainly the case. There was little of the lively Zulu party spirit I had been told to expect even though all the worship, led by Drew, was Zulu and Sesotho songs (he's got an amazing ability to sing these songs with perfect accent without being a great speaker of the languages). There were a troupe of Zulu dancers from another church however. These 20 or so teenagers were amazing in their display of coordination, volume, and flexibility (Zulu dancing involves lots of high kicks where people's thighs seem to touch their shoulders and stamping of the foot on the way back down). A couple of the girls led a call and response with the rest of the group, and when they shouted out the call it was incredible to hear this unamplified voice fill this large hall without sounding at all strained! This was certianly not dainty, but definitely full of grace and elegance. Mostly I couldn't understand anything, but at one point they sang a chorus with broad harmonies, and typical african drums and instruments, and what they were singing was clear enough even in Zulu - "Jesus died for me!" Wow! What a powerful thing to see - a totally different culture employing all its means to respond in worship to the same God I worship. It was amazing to see the gospel taken root fully in another culture and to see that the gospel truly is transferable to all cultures of the world. Wherever you take it, it will take root! The heart cannot but soar when it sees other people who are so different nevertheless come to the exact same truth by such obviously distinct means. What joy must God have as he sees the worship of all the nations at once! Yet, as Drew's T-Shirt said today, "Panta te ethnos!" - To all nations! This joy is not yet full either in the heart of God or in the heart of the unreached, or partially unreached, nations of this world. Let's get to work!
More surprises from the party: an apparently famous preacher was brought in to speak and his message was disturbing, i) because of its content, ii) because of how familiar this content is. The main focus in this rambling preach was that God's glory rising upon us (as in Isa 60) means that we should all be getting seriously rich and gaining authority and running the world - for God's glory of course! When hearing about it afterwards Gary Welsh said, "See? This is why Newfrontiers is needing to plant churches in Southern Africa - this is everywhere!" Anyway, among the more outrageous remarks was the one that said, "Poverty is a sin"! Why? Because if you're poor you can't do what God calls you to do, e.g. care for the poor, or go to other nations, etc. I hope that idea is so patently false that I don't need to offer any biblical refute, but it's amazing how so many people lap up this kind of talk that promises that God will make you a millionaire in a year. I would put it down to the desperate need of many here, but the same is going on in the UK all the time, which is, as I said, distressing. It seems like the gospel isn't the only thing to cross cultures - false gospels do too!
Sunday I went with Gary to Mtubatuba (so wasn't at Hope Church, where I'm based, and so haven't met them yet!) where he was preaching. We set off at 6:15am for a two hour drive up the coast, passing masses of timber plantations with their perfect rows of trees. Mtubatuba is a small town largely based around the sugar industry. I'm not quite sure of the ecomonic factors involved, but the town used to be predominantly white, with labourers presumably coming in from neighbouring villages. However in the last decade or so most of the white people have left and the town is predominantly black. Looking at the church though this is not the case! It would seem that they established themselves when the white population was present, and then it becamse a shrinking bastion of the white presence in the town. The new leader, Anthony, has been working hard to effect change, and has seen some success with the church now being about as mixed as Beulah (so probably about 1/3 black).
The church meets in a large hall, but doesn't have more than about 70 people. A number of local kids from the school that the church runs were sitting on small chairs towards the back for some unknown reason. It was lovely to be among believers though - to worship, to sit under the Word being preached, and so on. But I was surprised again. When I came away I said, "That was all too much like England!" Things like Hillsong have a worldwide influence as well as a lot of American worship leaders. Most of the songs we sung could have been lifted right out of an English context - even the CD music played in intervals. The mix of people was again more like England, as was the general atmosphere of the place (quite sombre and reserved). Spooky stuff. It's beginning to seem that a lot of work needs to be done to create truly African church across the board in SA (though of course SA is now a huge multiracial mix, not solely native Africans).
So that's been the first of a few surprises. I've yet to attend Hope Church (being away in Mtubatuba last week) so I'll be very keen to see what that's like. May it yield a pleasant surprise and a great opportunity to work in an entirely new context, to the multi-coloured praise of God!
It's amazing to think that little over a week ago I was getting ready to go to Heathrow for my flight to Durban. I think 10 months will both go quickly and yet feel like it has been stuffed full of experiences.
I've had a few already, of all kinds. On Friday I went to a birthday party which was really a lot more like a church service in celebration of the birthday girl. The couple involved are friends of Hope Church as fellow church plant leaders in the Durban area (from NCMI - New Covenant Ministries International), and so I tagged along with the few who could tear themselves away from the England Vs SA rugby match on the same evening.
Where the party/service was was one of the surprises I've had since being here. We were in a large hall, not unlike a medium sized school assembly hall, in a township in Chesterville near where I live. You might be thinking, "How does a township with it's makeshift housing go together with a large meeting hall that's solid and well equipped?" I wondered the same thing! Apparently goverment iniative has decided to equip townships with some facilities to make them more amenable, but didn't think it better to give people proper houses! I'm sure it's not as simple as that (e.g. if you can't build everyone a new house then it's going to be pretty unfair; building something new and of decent size will probably mean tearing down neighbouring shacks; where to put people while new things are being built; the need to put in serious infrastructure like water and electricity before building), but it was a big surprise to see a large and modern facility laid out with posh tables and chairs and china, etc, in a typical poor township. These townships have been part of the landscape for so long now that their presence has become pretty accepted (there are road signs to the areas, for example, and then there are things like these permanent government built community facilities) even though they must have changed lots over the decades.
Anyway, back to the party. I was told to expect a massive culture shock and was more surprised by the lack of it really! There were not the numbers of people expected (we could easily have had double the number), and a large number of white people turned up too so it was probably about 50% white. Talking about it today, Drew, the leader of Hope Church, said that in his experience it was pretty common for Zulu people to behave a lot more in line with the white people when it is so mixed, and this was certainly the case. There was little of the lively Zulu party spirit I had been told to expect even though all the worship, led by Drew, was Zulu and Sesotho songs (he's got an amazing ability to sing these songs with perfect accent without being a great speaker of the languages). There were a troupe of Zulu dancers from another church however. These 20 or so teenagers were amazing in their display of coordination, volume, and flexibility (Zulu dancing involves lots of high kicks where people's thighs seem to touch their shoulders and stamping of the foot on the way back down). A couple of the girls led a call and response with the rest of the group, and when they shouted out the call it was incredible to hear this unamplified voice fill this large hall without sounding at all strained! This was certianly not dainty, but definitely full of grace and elegance. Mostly I couldn't understand anything, but at one point they sang a chorus with broad harmonies, and typical african drums and instruments, and what they were singing was clear enough even in Zulu - "Jesus died for me!" Wow! What a powerful thing to see - a totally different culture employing all its means to respond in worship to the same God I worship. It was amazing to see the gospel taken root fully in another culture and to see that the gospel truly is transferable to all cultures of the world. Wherever you take it, it will take root! The heart cannot but soar when it sees other people who are so different nevertheless come to the exact same truth by such obviously distinct means. What joy must God have as he sees the worship of all the nations at once! Yet, as Drew's T-Shirt said today, "Panta te ethnos!" - To all nations! This joy is not yet full either in the heart of God or in the heart of the unreached, or partially unreached, nations of this world. Let's get to work!
More surprises from the party: an apparently famous preacher was brought in to speak and his message was disturbing, i) because of its content, ii) because of how familiar this content is. The main focus in this rambling preach was that God's glory rising upon us (as in Isa 60) means that we should all be getting seriously rich and gaining authority and running the world - for God's glory of course! When hearing about it afterwards Gary Welsh said, "See? This is why Newfrontiers is needing to plant churches in Southern Africa - this is everywhere!" Anyway, among the more outrageous remarks was the one that said, "Poverty is a sin"! Why? Because if you're poor you can't do what God calls you to do, e.g. care for the poor, or go to other nations, etc. I hope that idea is so patently false that I don't need to offer any biblical refute, but it's amazing how so many people lap up this kind of talk that promises that God will make you a millionaire in a year. I would put it down to the desperate need of many here, but the same is going on in the UK all the time, which is, as I said, distressing. It seems like the gospel isn't the only thing to cross cultures - false gospels do too!
Sunday I went with Gary to Mtubatuba (so wasn't at Hope Church, where I'm based, and so haven't met them yet!) where he was preaching. We set off at 6:15am for a two hour drive up the coast, passing masses of timber plantations with their perfect rows of trees. Mtubatuba is a small town largely based around the sugar industry. I'm not quite sure of the ecomonic factors involved, but the town used to be predominantly white, with labourers presumably coming in from neighbouring villages. However in the last decade or so most of the white people have left and the town is predominantly black. Looking at the church though this is not the case! It would seem that they established themselves when the white population was present, and then it becamse a shrinking bastion of the white presence in the town. The new leader, Anthony, has been working hard to effect change, and has seen some success with the church now being about as mixed as Beulah (so probably about 1/3 black).
The church meets in a large hall, but doesn't have more than about 70 people. A number of local kids from the school that the church runs were sitting on small chairs towards the back for some unknown reason. It was lovely to be among believers though - to worship, to sit under the Word being preached, and so on. But I was surprised again. When I came away I said, "That was all too much like England!" Things like Hillsong have a worldwide influence as well as a lot of American worship leaders. Most of the songs we sung could have been lifted right out of an English context - even the CD music played in intervals. The mix of people was again more like England, as was the general atmosphere of the place (quite sombre and reserved). Spooky stuff. It's beginning to seem that a lot of work needs to be done to create truly African church across the board in SA (though of course SA is now a huge multiracial mix, not solely native Africans).
So that's been the first of a few surprises. I've yet to attend Hope Church (being away in Mtubatuba last week) so I'll be very keen to see what that's like. May it yield a pleasant surprise and a great opportunity to work in an entirely new context, to the multi-coloured praise of God!
Thursday 13 September 2007
Perspectives
It’s all a matter of perspective. Perspective can make small things look colossal, the distant seem nearby, and the costly appear joyful.
The journey so far has been one of completely adjusted perspective.
After a tedious wait at Heathrow airport for Lufthansa flight 4739 to get underway (They found a nail in one of the tyres and thought it best to replace it. I would have thought to have left it; worst the could happen is that we arrive in style with sparks down the runway!) I was aboard and in my seat at the window. It was a remarkably clear night with not a cloud in the sky over all of the UK even at 20,000 feet. Behind me, to the west, could be seen a strip of red separating a now black area of sky and the land below, and an area of pale blue sky above. The sun had set on my time in the UK and all that could be seen was a brilliant strip of light just before it winked off the horizon. As we climbed I could see London’s geography drawn out for me by thousands of lights and houses. At first one could see just a section of the M25 with cars whizzing around it, soon to be followed by a view across the whole of the great city of London that stretched to my (then) horizon. Looking closely I could even make out some of the buildings of Croydon, though that might have been wishful thinking. Gradually this exploding mass of orange-lit connections became smaller and vast areas of dark containing islands of orange light were at the forefront. I couldn’t help but be nostalgic for the city that has been my homeland and in my blood since birth, but also grateful to God that I should get to say farewell looking her in the eyes. And before long that city that had so stretched to the end of the world from my window was but a blip in the distance. London was gone. As I said, it’s all about perspective.
As we crossed over the south east I wondered at which of the many places I knew the island below was. With London gone it was comforting to see other places I have been to and known until we were off into the sea and heading for Belgium. Faintly the shape of the England stood out from the sea, and though there is so much of it I have yet to explore, it still felt as though it belonged to me as home. Some of the places we passed over I probably would have deliberately avoided or would certainly have rejected as an option for home, but then I would have gladly taken any of those places with me. Again, it’s perspective.
I turned from the window and paused to reflect perhaps for the first time what it meant to leave everything I have called “home”. Having been in Austria and Germany the week before on holiday I could have happily said I would love to remain there, but home is something you never appreciate until you have left it. After years of its familiar comforts and routines you may yearn for times away and for new adventures to be had, but it’s generally done with the knowledge that home is always ready to receive you whenever you want to return. It’s almost like having both – the comfort of keeping your home as your home, but also gaining some new place as a bonus. But when you leave everything called “home” for somewhere else it’s a very different story – a very different perspective.
After a long and largely unspectacular journey (there were a few close calls which were promptly remedied) I arrived at Durban International airport to find Gary Welsh waiting to take me to what would be my new home. From the car I could see there would be a lot to learn, but that must wait for a while. Arriving at Gary and Nicky’s house in Westville, Durban, it was time to sit down and have a beer. I was introduced to their new dog, Lloyd, who’s a lovely but very shy character, and I sat overlooking the back garden and the slightly murky swimming pool (Yes, I do have a swimming pool available to me!). Gary apologised for the remnants of algae that were still present, and I informed him that whatever the condition of his pool it was nonetheless a pool and that was amazing! Drew Land, the leader of Hope Church Durban, and Themba Hlomuka, one of the other leaders, came over to say hi. While I’d met them both before it was nice to catch up a little more and have some company after “single serving friends” over 22 hours of travelling.
Once they had left I sat in the garden again and looked out. I had no idea where anything was (largely still don’t), I had no one I knew around me, and certainly no proper friends anywhere in reach. Though I was in a nice house, on a warm (shorts and t-shirt warm) winter’s day, in an amazing country just waiting to be discovered, I felt as though I might as well be stranded on a desert island. As the poem, “Water, water everywhere, but not a drop to drink”, so it was, “People, people everywhere, but not a friend to see”, and more than that I’d be lost the moment I stepped out of the front door! While I seemed to have unlimited opportunities at my finger tips, without a single reference point all were beyond my reach and my comprehension. You’ve guessed it – it’s perspective.
But as I end my first 24 hours in Durban I’m quickly adapting, understanding, exploring, connecting, etc. Like a newborn baby I’m learning fast and just need to get on with it, feeling out the world around me through sight, taste, and sound. I’ve also found that, when the internet is working at least, that none of you are as far away as it may seem and indeed you would have been 20 years ago. It’s a great comfort to write to you all, but also to have heard from many of you already. Even though I may receive bad news, it’s still a comfort to participate in your lives. Are you near or far away? Both – it’s a matter of perspective.
One last perspective. Where is “home” anyway? Yes, it may be that, “Home is where the heart is”, but for me home is with Christ. On one glorious day to come I shall be fully home which is no less than being fully with Him. For now I have a temporary home in this earthly life, in which Christ also dwells (Jn 14:23, Gal 2:20). My “home” in this earth is but a temporary place within a temporary place, and yet I do truly miss it. How strange is our perspective that we long so little for our real home? Paul says it well in 2 Corinthians 5:6ff
We know that while we are at home in the body we are away from the Lord, for we walk by faith, not by sight. Yes, we are of good courage, and we would rather be away from the body and at home with the Lord. So whether we are at home or away we make it our aim to please Him.
And in v. 1ff
For we know that if the tent, which is our earthly home, is destroyed, we have a building from God, a house not made with hands, eternal in the heavens. For in this tent we groan, longing to put on our heavenly dwelling… not that we would be unclothed, but that we would be further clothed, so that what is mortal may be swallowed up by life. He who has prepared us for this very thing is God, who has given us the Spirit as a guarantee.
In all, “To live is Christ, and to die is gain” (Php 1:21), and so “For his sake I have suffered the loss of all things and count them as rubbish, in order that I may gain Christ and be found in Him” (Php 3:8f).
That is my final perspective.
Please pray
· That I adapt quickly and thoroughly to culture, surroundings, and living alone (The Welsh’s are like my next door neighbours).
· That my focus remains on the ultimate perspective.
· That I find many friends who will not only keep my company but inspire my faith.
· That I can get a good car that will serve me well for less than R40,000, and soon!
God bless you all in knowing Christ above all else!
The journey so far has been one of completely adjusted perspective.
After a tedious wait at Heathrow airport for Lufthansa flight 4739 to get underway (They found a nail in one of the tyres and thought it best to replace it. I would have thought to have left it; worst the could happen is that we arrive in style with sparks down the runway!) I was aboard and in my seat at the window. It was a remarkably clear night with not a cloud in the sky over all of the UK even at 20,000 feet. Behind me, to the west, could be seen a strip of red separating a now black area of sky and the land below, and an area of pale blue sky above. The sun had set on my time in the UK and all that could be seen was a brilliant strip of light just before it winked off the horizon. As we climbed I could see London’s geography drawn out for me by thousands of lights and houses. At first one could see just a section of the M25 with cars whizzing around it, soon to be followed by a view across the whole of the great city of London that stretched to my (then) horizon. Looking closely I could even make out some of the buildings of Croydon, though that might have been wishful thinking. Gradually this exploding mass of orange-lit connections became smaller and vast areas of dark containing islands of orange light were at the forefront. I couldn’t help but be nostalgic for the city that has been my homeland and in my blood since birth, but also grateful to God that I should get to say farewell looking her in the eyes. And before long that city that had so stretched to the end of the world from my window was but a blip in the distance. London was gone. As I said, it’s all about perspective.
As we crossed over the south east I wondered at which of the many places I knew the island below was. With London gone it was comforting to see other places I have been to and known until we were off into the sea and heading for Belgium. Faintly the shape of the England stood out from the sea, and though there is so much of it I have yet to explore, it still felt as though it belonged to me as home. Some of the places we passed over I probably would have deliberately avoided or would certainly have rejected as an option for home, but then I would have gladly taken any of those places with me. Again, it’s perspective.
I turned from the window and paused to reflect perhaps for the first time what it meant to leave everything I have called “home”. Having been in Austria and Germany the week before on holiday I could have happily said I would love to remain there, but home is something you never appreciate until you have left it. After years of its familiar comforts and routines you may yearn for times away and for new adventures to be had, but it’s generally done with the knowledge that home is always ready to receive you whenever you want to return. It’s almost like having both – the comfort of keeping your home as your home, but also gaining some new place as a bonus. But when you leave everything called “home” for somewhere else it’s a very different story – a very different perspective.
After a long and largely unspectacular journey (there were a few close calls which were promptly remedied) I arrived at Durban International airport to find Gary Welsh waiting to take me to what would be my new home. From the car I could see there would be a lot to learn, but that must wait for a while. Arriving at Gary and Nicky’s house in Westville, Durban, it was time to sit down and have a beer. I was introduced to their new dog, Lloyd, who’s a lovely but very shy character, and I sat overlooking the back garden and the slightly murky swimming pool (Yes, I do have a swimming pool available to me!). Gary apologised for the remnants of algae that were still present, and I informed him that whatever the condition of his pool it was nonetheless a pool and that was amazing! Drew Land, the leader of Hope Church Durban, and Themba Hlomuka, one of the other leaders, came over to say hi. While I’d met them both before it was nice to catch up a little more and have some company after “single serving friends” over 22 hours of travelling.
Once they had left I sat in the garden again and looked out. I had no idea where anything was (largely still don’t), I had no one I knew around me, and certainly no proper friends anywhere in reach. Though I was in a nice house, on a warm (shorts and t-shirt warm) winter’s day, in an amazing country just waiting to be discovered, I felt as though I might as well be stranded on a desert island. As the poem, “Water, water everywhere, but not a drop to drink”, so it was, “People, people everywhere, but not a friend to see”, and more than that I’d be lost the moment I stepped out of the front door! While I seemed to have unlimited opportunities at my finger tips, without a single reference point all were beyond my reach and my comprehension. You’ve guessed it – it’s perspective.
But as I end my first 24 hours in Durban I’m quickly adapting, understanding, exploring, connecting, etc. Like a newborn baby I’m learning fast and just need to get on with it, feeling out the world around me through sight, taste, and sound. I’ve also found that, when the internet is working at least, that none of you are as far away as it may seem and indeed you would have been 20 years ago. It’s a great comfort to write to you all, but also to have heard from many of you already. Even though I may receive bad news, it’s still a comfort to participate in your lives. Are you near or far away? Both – it’s a matter of perspective.
One last perspective. Where is “home” anyway? Yes, it may be that, “Home is where the heart is”, but for me home is with Christ. On one glorious day to come I shall be fully home which is no less than being fully with Him. For now I have a temporary home in this earthly life, in which Christ also dwells (Jn 14:23, Gal 2:20). My “home” in this earth is but a temporary place within a temporary place, and yet I do truly miss it. How strange is our perspective that we long so little for our real home? Paul says it well in 2 Corinthians 5:6ff
We know that while we are at home in the body we are away from the Lord, for we walk by faith, not by sight. Yes, we are of good courage, and we would rather be away from the body and at home with the Lord. So whether we are at home or away we make it our aim to please Him.
And in v. 1ff
For we know that if the tent, which is our earthly home, is destroyed, we have a building from God, a house not made with hands, eternal in the heavens. For in this tent we groan, longing to put on our heavenly dwelling… not that we would be unclothed, but that we would be further clothed, so that what is mortal may be swallowed up by life. He who has prepared us for this very thing is God, who has given us the Spirit as a guarantee.
In all, “To live is Christ, and to die is gain” (Php 1:21), and so “For his sake I have suffered the loss of all things and count them as rubbish, in order that I may gain Christ and be found in Him” (Php 3:8f).
That is my final perspective.
Please pray
· That I adapt quickly and thoroughly to culture, surroundings, and living alone (The Welsh’s are like my next door neighbours).
· That my focus remains on the ultimate perspective.
· That I find many friends who will not only keep my company but inspire my faith.
· That I can get a good car that will serve me well for less than R40,000, and soon!
God bless you all in knowing Christ above all else!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
