Broken branch

One more post to complete the story of how it came to be that I should go to Durban. As I mentioned before I've been leading the youth at Beulah Family Church for a few years now and I feel a burden of responsibility and care for them as I would if they were my own children. I also mentioned the image of the "babysitter" - how can I leave "my kids" without someone to take care of them?

This dilemma was not only faced by me, but by the elders of my church who are ultimately responsible for me and for the youth. We had no clear-cut way forward, but we did have to make a decision quickly as it was the beginning of May at this point, and that meant whatever I was to be doing in September I needed to be getting on with it already!

Thankfully we could do a lot more than fret - we prayed. At our church prayer meeting we sought God over what to do, awaiting a breakthrough from Heaven. As we spent some time just waiting on the Spirit to see what He would do, I felt Him point me towards Romans 11 in the Bible. More specifically He brought to mind the image of the branch broken off the tree in Romans 9, and I knew He wanted to guide me through that.

So I opened it up to Romans 11 and read. For those who are not so familiar with this passage (if you want to read it go to www.biblegateway.com, type in "Romans 11", and it will come up) it comes as part of a letter to a church in Rome during the New Testament era. It essentially describes how one group of people rejected God and another accepted him. It puts this in terms of an olive tree. It says that the natural branch, the nation of Israel, was broken off from the tree for their disobedience to God's call - particularly in rejecting His Son, Jesus. Another branch, the nations of the world (gentiles), are described as a wild olive branch being grafted into that tree in their obedient faith response to the good news of Jesus Christ.

What does this have to do with me? I believe God was pointing me to the fact that he doesn't always do straightforward things and that He can have a great plan in something that looks like disaster. If you want a fruitful olive grove the last thing it would seem you want to do is to snap off some branches! You can just imagine calling in an expert gardener to have a look at your olive tree and takes a looks, mumbles to himself a few times, and then just rips a branch out of your precious tree! That's what me leaving, even at this point, still feels like. Nothing's coming to a natural end, there's no natural handover, there's seemingly no sense in me being disconnected from Beulah.

But God has bigger plans. When the branch of Israel was broken off it was to create space to graft in the nations of the world. The intention of my being broken off so violently is to create space for another branch, one that will ultimately be more fruitful, to be put in my place. For a while it leaves a sore, open, vulnerable gap - but it is necessary to graft in another fully formed branch. Romans 11 refers to this (in the original setting) as bringing in the "fullness" of the Gentiles. I believe very much that the "wild" (possibly in character, possibly also meaning "not native" to Beulah) branch will bring in a fullness that I've not been able to bring in.

Further along in the passage it talks about the natural branch (Israel in the passage, me in this metaphor) being grafted back in again at a later stage. I know that I will return to Beulah, at least for some time. But to be grafted back in at a different spot (i.e. not returning to do the same thing as before) is exactly what I'm going to SA for! If I went for a short time (one of the options we've considered) I know things would just be on hold until I got back and resumed them. This way they carry on without me and I make a clean break, like a branch being snapped off. So when I return it will be in a different way, also because I'll be very much different from my time in the challenging context of Hope Church, Durban. In Romans 11, verse 15, it says, "For if their rejection means the reconciliation of the world, what will their acceptance mean but life from the dead?" My inclusion back into Beulah, by God's grace and call (i.e. not because I'm a big-shot), will mean great blessing to come upon the church. Indeed the miraculous intervention of God is one of the things I believe the environment of faith in Durban will push me to enter, and indeed to remain in and bring back with me to Beulah and beyond.

So I very much got the impression that God had a much bigger plan for what seemed to be a senseless ripping out of a branch of Beulah Family Church, and that it would be part of the fulfilment of the things God has promised me regarding His people at Beulah.

But I couldn't just go on that! What if I were wrong? What if I was just hearing what I want to hear? What if it were a diversion from the Devil? So I waited to see what God would speak through other people and see if what I had matched up with some potentially more impartial people.

Soon a guy I've often known to be quite accurate when hearing from God (Mark Bruce) spoke a word about a clock. It was no ordinary time piece, but a shift clock where workers clock in and clock out. The essence of the word was that as one worker clocks out, another clocks in. The other doesn't clock in before the first one finishes, because his shift starts when the first's ends. Simiarly the shift worker does not wait to be replaced, he just completes his shift knowing that the workload and other workers are managed by someone else - He just has to do his own work, not worry about others. God is never early, and never late, but always on time.

This confirmed exactly what had been said to me - that when you break the branch off, another will get grafted in, and one can't happen without the other. I'm not going regardless of whether or not there will be a replacement, but I'm going so that a replacement may come in - someone better for my youth than I, as much as I'd love to be that person.

This whole episode, with the tensions, the highs, the lows, the expectations, the worries, the amazing purposes, and so on, was just too much and actually brought me to tears. I nearly never go teary eyed, but such was the relief, the gratitude to God, and the joy of knowing that all I had hoped for them and me would be fulfilled, that there was nothing else I could do.

Later on the elders to whom I'm submitted confirmed that this is was in fact God speaking and decided to send me out in September in faith, whatever happens. As much as I'm responsible for the youth, they are more so and are the ones who delegated me to them. Hence it had to be also up to them to decide whether they were prepared to leave these sheep somewhat without a shepherd for a while.

So I've not so much decided to leave as been snapped off/had my call terminated, by God so that he may move me and someone else onto bigger things. Let it be for great fruit and glory to your name, Lord!