Batchelor Pad

Okay, here's some pictures of my place, as promised. It's taken me a while to 1) Be around when there's some light. Being on the side of the house that gets nearly no direct sunlight and being flanked by big trees that mark off the neighbours' property, I don't really have much natural light coming in most of the time. 2) Get around to making the whole place tidy enough to take all these pictures in one go. 3) Just have some spare time in general as the last couple of weeks have been quite busy.

Anyway, presenting casa del Cocinero ('Cook's house' in spanish):
































The first picture is how you see things when you walk through my front door. There's the open plan kitchen/diner/living room area, and then the left hand door leads to the bathroom, and the right hand one to the bedroom - both of which are shown in the following pictures. The bedroom has a big sliding door should you want some ventilation, but generally better is to use the air conditioner - especially at night because otherwise you will be mauled by bugs.

The whole place isn't quite as big as my ultra wide lens has made it look, but it's a comfortable size for one person. What is the crowning glory of it though is the access to Gary's back garden and pool which I can use pretty much whenever. Take a peek!

Pretty nifty, huh? Beyond the pool it's actually the brow of a hill and the garden extends a long way further down a hill and to another flat bit. There's enough green around that you get all sorts of wildlife populating the garden, which can be a pain as much as a pleasure, but it's generally a nice touch.

Anyway, who's coming to visit now? :o)

Get in there!

The title is first and foremost a comment about the England rugby team facing South Africa in the final's of the world cup this Saturday. People are very, very passionate about rugby here, and being an englander at this time can be bad for your health! Still, it won't stop me bragging if we do actually win the cup (again) and set the score straight on the thrashing we endured from SA in the group stages.

I've never been into rugby much, but between everyone here being so and the fact that someone's got to stick up for old Blighty, I've decided to take to it a bit more.

The title is also a bit of a description of my weekend. Saturday I had a huge braai (BBQ) while Gary and Nicky were away and had about 20 people show up - virtually all students. It was great to properly break the ice with a number of people, and when the speakers and music finally showed up we were getting a bit of a party going. I was also taught what must be the African equivalent of 70s disco moves too, which was a good laugh!

Being students most of course didn't bring anything with them. Being Africa too it's largely expected that the host will just take care of everything anyway. I bought stuff in on the basis that even if only every other person just brings a small amount there should still be a good amount to go round. Turned out that I had to go get some more meat in the end! With my home-made selection of Sticky BBQ, Citrus Thai, Italian tomato and herb, and Cajun spice to put it all in though there was plenty of flavour to be had and it would seem many were roundly impressed at my cooking! :o)

Sunday I brought a football, as promised, to church for a game with the lads I've been getting to know at church from Cato Crest (township). We had a great game in the boiling 11am sun (by which time it was already 29C!) and it only strengthened the relationship that God seems to have opened up there. What was great was that when I dropped some of them home , following another car with the others, the lead car didn't do the usual drop off at the main road but drove right into the township. I keenly followed, eager for a taste of what it's like without wandering in as a presumptuous tourist. It was very interesting to see. Most of the suburbs of Durban are quiet by London standards with very few people about and very few cars on the roads. This was a complete turnaroud - people and cars everywhere! People seemed far less surprised to see a white man in a BMW driving up than I would have expected and on the whole it seemed like a fairly normal place. The party line in SA is if you go into a township you'll be robbed, raped, and ripped apart within 20 seconds, but this didn't seem a problem at all. Ros, the girl in the other car, caught a few dodgy glances from some guys in another car as we were leaving, and I would think someone like her a lot more vulnerable in that setting, but for me it didn't seem too risky to be there. Of course, because there's nothing there except people's houses and no through route to anywhere else, you do need to have a reason to be there, and should really have some local people you're with, but in such cases it doesn't look like there's too much to worry about.

Coming back from there I was absolutely boiling and took the opportunity to plunge myself into the swimming pool when I got home (pics of the pool to follow). Finally I could see just why it was so desirable to have a pool in places like SA. It's nothing to do with swimming at all! It's all about cooling off. There's no measure to how refreshing it is to be able to just leap into the pool all in one go and just lie there when you're just boiling. Being in the tub indoors is just not the same as being outdoors in the sun and with freedom to move about in the water. Problem with an outdoor pool is that it does collect a lot of leaves, dirt, and insects however, so I got out before long and started skimming the pool while trying to avoid burning my feet on the paving.

Another place I "got in" was the sea. For weeks I've been here and either had too much to do, rubbish weather, no car, or no idea, when it's come to going to the beach. Wednesday evening to Friday morning was our church's leadership retreat for prayer, planning, and fun, and we went to a large house near the beach at a place called Salt Rock. During our free time on Thursday we went down to the beach and I tried out the waves. Though I'm not a surfer, it's still great fun to catch a good wave and swim, letting it carry you a massive distance. These things were scary though! The waves were big and the slope of the beach was steep, so the pull back from the waves was borderline dangerous! Plus it churned up all the sand so much that it was much more like getting hit by a wall of wet sand - knocking me clean over and throwing me about a couple of times. When I did manage to time it right and get a good wave where I was sure I wouldn't be swept out to sea, it was incredible to ride the surging power of the waves here. My feet soon regretted going to the beach though. The sand at this particular beach was so harsh, with massive grains that would have been classed as pebbles if any bigger. Before long I found myself laden with camera gear at another end of the beach and very much feeling it - knowing I had to walk all the way back ever increasingly in pain. When I got back there were dozens of bits of shredded skin hanging from the soles of my feet (lovely, I know) and they hurt for a couple of days. I'm sure they'll be all the tougher for it though - something I was amazed at when I was playing football with the guys, because some of them ran on hot asphalt barefoot like it was nothing!

Still waiting for my car. The date keeps rolling because of one hiccup or another, so I'm just going to wait and see if it really is tomorrow Saabine comes home. Sigh!

We had the second in our series of preaches on the poor on Sunday, which again proved inspirational and challenging. More to come on that soon.

Sorry if I've not had much chance to respond to all the emails, texts, letters, facebook posts, etc I've got. I do read them and do try to reply, but please keep sending them as it's always nice to hear from y'all. Sitting by the pool yesterday I felt so at home here, just like I would in the UK. It felt as though I should be able to walk out of the door and drive down the road to London, but unfortunately it isn't so, so please stay in touch in those ways available.

Grace and peace from the Lord Jesus Christ!


Andrew/Cook/Cookie/Durf/Druff/etc

'The poor don't deserve our help!'

If you've been hooked in by my title, then it's done its job. It was a phrase used by Gary Welsh as we began our preaching series on the poor (pronounced poo-er here) at Hope Church this Sunday. Now it's important to understand the context. A phrase like that is usually used by people who want to justify why they should not have to have any responsibility for the poor. However here it was an expression of the fact that help that we give is not a reflection of merit (they've not earned favour) or of duty, but of what God is like. It's not my fault I'm wealthier than many people here (I didn't cheat anyone to get it) and the Bible simply accepts the fact that there will always be some who are wealthy and some who are not, and that not necessarily a reflection of the merits of either (e.g. I happened to be born in wealthy UK, and many poor are not simply lazy or suffering consequences of something morally askew in their lives).

But saying that the poor do not deserve help does not mean the same thing as saying the poor are not worthy of help. Isaiah 58 spells out that those in need around us are also our "flesh and bone", made in the image of God as we are, and so are worth what we are worth regardless of what's in their bank account (if they even have one). Helping the needy is a very worthy thing, and we can agree much with humanitarians that stress the value of human life. However our roots must sink deeper, both because of what we know and because only in God do we find the necessary resources, compassion, motivation, and faith for otherwise self-centred people like me to "spend ourselves for the hungry" as Isaiah 58 puts it.

God justifies much of his Law in the Old Testament with the phrase, "I am the LORD." That is the bottom line - this is about Him. The same is true when God talks of helping the one who becomes poor - help them.... I am the LORD! Why this is important is because it is very much in line with the character of God to be generous/gracious, and so we follow with grace to the poor - giving what is not deserved.

It's certainly a refreshing perspective - one markedly different from the guilt employed by most human logic that only tends to produce marginal giving to satisfy conscience, if that. Generosity leaves us free to draw a line where we will stop, but more than that leaves us free to enjoy giving lavishly to bring help to those in need.

But it is all about God. That's what's been hard to explain to people who have come over from England with my friend Nim for a wedding last weekend. "So what are you doing here? Like missionary work?" The instant assumption is that humanitarian relief and development is the priority, which is something that's difficult to give a simple reply to. What I end up saying is that I have come to build the Church here in Durban, which is a community of worship to God which expresses its devotion to Jesus in many ways, including working with the poor around us as we do the whole neighbourhood.

[Funnily enough while big agencies and international governments can do some great work - particularly in disaster relief - often solutions are only temporary. Every organisation must have an entry strategy, an objecive, and an exit strategy. The Church has no exit strategy - we're a self propogating community within a community, fully conversant with the local people, local needs, local solutions, and so on. So both smart, and ongoing solutions can be found, as well as ongoing social change in an area through the Church. Effects may not be as immediate, but they can certainly be very comprehensive.]

But the primary focus is that people see, know, and love God for all his works of kindness - ultimately his gift of eternal life to rich and poor sinners alike. I tell them (when I don't get caught so off guard!), "I'm building a community of people that make the glory of God known. If anyone is deserving it is God - deserving of praise, majesty, honour, glory, dominion, and worship from all peoples for all time! A reflection of His worth is His great love, which overflows to the poor whom he cares for, delivers, and avenges.

So Hope Church Durban are looking to care for the poor already amongst our church family, and also further afield. Why? Because that's what God is like and likes to do!

Note: On Sunday 21st October Hope Church are taking up an offering to kickstart our work with the poor. Anyone wanting to donate (as an act of willing generosity and conviction that this is a good way to express that generosity) can email me for my UK bank account details (if you trust me!) and I will pass the money on myself. This money will only be used for work with the poor, not for staff salaries, etc.

Poverty is still very much the norm here, though a big enough city as built up that you could almost ignore the problem and think it small by comparison to the "norms" of the city. Working with the poor (i.e. as people who are conincidentally poor, not as a faceless needy category) is our aim, and I'm glad that the boys I mentioned the other week seem to be getting to know me more and even flocking to me on a Sunday. I hope to be able to visit them where they live sometime and I'll let you know how that develops. Please pray for me that I can be humbly used of God in this common, but easy to avoid, situation around me.

One Just About Me

Okay, so enough of the spiritual truths from Guru Cook! Here's one just about me and the whole new experience of moving country, moving out, and anything else that comes to mind. I'll just rattle them off as I think of them.

• Well, the one that sort of exemplifies all the sorts of things I mean and was my example when thinking about writing this post is Nesquik - yes, Nesquik! I'm finding that suddenly I love the stuff. How have I lived without it for so long? I used to greatly enjoy it as a kid, but haven't had it for years. But, saw it in the Spar when I first got here, and I'm already over halfway through a big tub of strawberry! I think at home I never really knew whether if using up a big chunk of the milk at random would cause someone else some problems later (something I don't need to worry about here), so I never really used it on occasion, so never developed the habit. Strange, but go Nesquik!
• The way South Africans speak is just bizarre! The accent is one thing, but there's so many little phrases from putting "eh" at the end of every sentence, yet saying it with a lowered tone and not a high one like a question. It's like being in Canada! "How are you?" is actually, "How is it?", and "now" doesn't mean now! So if you say I'm going to do something "just now" that means more like "a bit later", or "at earliest convenience". If something will happen "now, now" it means very soon, but not quite yet. "Now, now, now, now..." means "right this second" as does "right now". Personally it seems people have to add more now's because "now" simply doesn't mean what it should! Grr! As South Africans would say, "Ach! Shame, man!"
• If South Africanisms are one thing, Afrikaans songs in church are something else! They are just so hard to follow. They tend to be very wordy, with slightly odd tunes, and just so unpredictable in the pronunciation. Imagine something that looks like German but has pronounciation like what would happen if someone decided to randomly change the sounds of all the english vowels around (so U sounds like E, and I like A, etc)! Zulu songs are very cool though - VERY cool!
  
• Cooking regularly is a new one (I can do it, but never really done it ongoingly). Cooking for one is silly as you end up using like 1/2 a clove of garlic and things! So I tend to cook for 3-4 and just use what's left for lunch the next day, or freeze stuff in my tiny freezer. Makes a better economy of time and money. It's good fun though and I'm enjoying learning new things and making some pretty tasty stuff, I might add! I'm a messy cook though. I clean up after, but during things are everywhere, and there's already a bit of splatter around! Finding ingredients in the supermarket is strange too.... things are all ordered according to some strange logic! Food is quite cheap in general though. Meat in particular is a lot cheaper than in the UK.
  
• I've not missed having no TV very much. It'd be nice to see a bit now and then, to be able to flick on the news, or watch the Grand Prix, or just catch the odd episode of something funny, but it's altogether a good thing just not having TV. I wonder how much I'll maintain the habit coming back to the UK.
• Insects are something else here. You can really tell that the wild world outside is a powerful one and wanting to push into every human establishment at any opporunity (e.g. monkeys jumping all over the roof at various times of the day). The ecosystem is just relentless here. So ants are around in a lot of places and I need to spray them with some stuff that'd probably be illegal in the UK! There are some nasty red suckers too - ants that are more like little spiders or maybe half a bluebottle in size. I would not like to get bitten by some of those! I chucked a millipede out of my place the other day when I found it on the floor after having a shower. There's loads of others about too that I'm sure I'll tell you more about some time. To top it all after all the rain recently we found a HUGE snail stuck to the side of the house. No kidding, this thing was 4-5ins long!
• I'm enjoying going to the gym. It's not as expensive as the UK (about half the price) so I can finally afford it. Feels good to pump some weight and to get some general fitness back. It can be a bit crowded at times, especially with poseurs on the free weights. I just need someone to spot me now.
• Last night I finally managed to make the clicks and pops of Zulu/Xhosa! You don't understand how happy I was! For days I'd been walking around sounding like Rebekah Clevely just making random noises, and then suddenly - breakthrough! It's not perfect, and my success rate is probably below 50-50, but I can do it now, and I'll be getting better. Wahey!
• Yet to meet any available young godly women :o( As ever, all the ones I start to take an interest in, or vice versa, I quickly find they're married or engaged! Grr!

Umm... I think that's it for now. I'm sure I'll add more pointless chatter later. By the way, you can add comments to this blog, so please do and let me know that you're actually reading this thing!

Keep in touch, people!

The never ending story

I hope to never have another day like last Monday.

Apart from the continual rain the day was going well as my friend Niemesh was over from the UK and we had met up in the Pavillion Shopping Centre with all of his group. We're walking around when the dreaded phone call came. I was advised that my gearbox had been removed (as per instructions) and examined and the gearbox bell housing (called a bell housing because it's shaped like a bell) had some cracks that meant the oil was leaking, that it had obviously been repaired before because there was clear welding, and that there was precious little way to tell how much damage (anywhere from insignificant to huge) has been done to the gears themselves inside. The recommendation was for a new gearbox, which was quoted to me as R26,000 - which is nearly £2,000! I was told that that would at least take care of some of the other parts I was looking at before, e.g. new seals, etc.

So I went down there to have a look and to get a final price. Knowing there were some other issues in mind I asked the mechanic what it would cost if all the parts that are either dead, damaged, or suspect, were replaced by Saab and using new parts. I was in for the shock of my life when the total mounted up to more than R55,000 (approx £3,850) by the time VAT was added as well! There was no question about doing that - none at all. The car simply wasn't worth that money and I only paid R35,000 for it! I was essentially looking at a car that was a dead loss for anything but spare parts!

The Saab mechanic asked, "Have you bought the car recently?" and I I told him (again) that I had, and he said that there was definite grounds to take it back and demand that my car be made roadworthy. He was confident that the dealer knew about the problem and probably put the sealant that covered it up on in the first place because it was so new. If it was deception then I could have a clear case to fight, but he said that even with it sold "as is" it's simply not allowed to be that bad. You can't sell a car that's at a fundamental level faulty. If the gearbox had broken down a couple of months from now then that's tough on me, because it may have just been on its last legs (not broken) when I bought it. But it was not - it was already broken.

So I went back to the dealer with Gary, expecting a fight for any repair or refund or replacement. If it went to a legal battle it would be a bit costly and I probably wouldn't have the case finished much before I left the country - in the meantime being without a car! To my surprise the dealer took some responsibility for it. He denied that he'd put the superglue repair on it, but accepted that it was his responsibility to fix (whether he did the dodgy work and thought I could prove it, or he genuinely didn't and was just being fair, I don't know).

Currently repairs are being arranged. Obviously just getting new parts is out of the question, but the gearbox I think is sound apart from it being leaky. He'll have it repaired by someone who'll guarantee it for a year, the clutch (which the Saab mechanic said looked quite new, but was now contaminated) will be skimmed and made clean again, and the whole thing will be put back together and I will hopefully be alright from there. There are some more repairs to be done, but they are looking like hundreds rather than thousands of pounds.

By about 3pm yesterday I was ready to go to bed! I've had to shell out for the labour from Saab, but it's well worth it for the independent evaluation of the problem. While it's not quite as straightforward as I thought it would be when I bought it, it's not looking as bad as it can be now. I'm not out of the woods yet though, so please pray that this is resolved well for me and that I get a fair deal and a car that doesn't become a drain on me throughout the year.

As I described to someone today who was just hearing the full story, everything about the car suggested best case scenario when I bought it (the bodywork, the mileage, the test drive, the service history, the good interior condition, etc). Yesterday it looked like it had moved to the worst case scenario - total loss - and today it looks like it's more like what used cars are about. Buying a car is always a gamble, but it's so rare to get a best case scenario that turns out to be so bad. I've definitely been stitched up, or should I say, "stitched in"?

Any of you that have a working car that isn't costing you an arm and a leg..... thank God for it!

A Comedy Of Errors

If I needed further proof that nothing is going to be straightforward over here, this weekend sealed it!

Firstly the magazine I've been designing for the church (apparently I am like the second saviour of Hope Church because I can use Photoshop and CorelDraw with some proficiency!) was going well until yesterday. I'd spent all week designing, modifying, consulting, searching for artwork, etc. To meet our print deadline I had to work on it on Saturday and I went to open the file and "BOOM!" CorelDraw says, "no"! Somehow it just wouldn't have it. I went to the backup and all was well. Just one of those things, I thought. Wrong. So after working on it for another 5 hours on Saturday and splitting it into two smaller files (in case file size was the previous problem) I'm just ready to come back to it and save it in final form when the same problem happens. ARGH! I can't open saved files because Corel just crashes! Even earlier versions are not loading. This is seriously bad - a week's work down the tubes and one very disappointed church leader. So we tried it again today and for a brief moment it worked (long enough to get our print versions ready). But when we tried to change some mistakes the same problems came back and we just cut our losses and went with what we had. Scary moments though!

As if that wasn't enough there was another hiccup the same day. My friend Niemesh, who is now in Durban, was kindly going to bring a case full of stuff for me. I'd looked (so I thought) or Virgin's page and was sure it said, 2 x 23kg bags allowed in economy. Anyway, he got to Heathrow and they wouldn't take my bag! Not only that even some of the more urgent items that could have (and should have come) as hand luggage were left in the case! So my dad went and picked it up, and at least it's all there. Still, got to look at shipping some stuff now!

I think I'm going to use this last month to illustrate James 1:2-4

"Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness. And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing."

For all the problems I'm actually in good spirits and things are really looking like they're going to open up into some great work over here. I'm sure none of this will be wasted!

Stitched up or stitched in? - Part 2

You might well be wondering what more there is to say about the matter of Saabine, but I do want to tell you how immediately and powerfully God has bolstered me with grace through this event.

Thursday when I returned home from the office was the first time I've really prayed since I got here. Oh I've prayed much, but this was the first time I really prayed and where it was like an open dialogue with God. Through the first period here I've been buffetted with loneliness and isolation (net going down, no phone, not knowing anyone, etc) and really it exposed to me a lot of how mediocre my spiritual could be at times when it drifts along. Being here as well I've not really done anything life-changing (for my life or others) yet, not seen where it will come into play. In fact what I have seen has generally led me to realise I have precious little to offer this nation in terms of common ground, and works of faith powerful enough to really lift people's eyes beyond the often suffocating pressures of their lives here. So really I've been praying to God, "C'mon! Do something with me and develop my faith, or this trip will be a pointless painful experience." Wednesday night (before I took the car in to garage) I began to see a little evidence of something coming. Reading The Pleasures Of God, by John Piper, has been good food for faith, pointing me to remember that from beginning to end it is all God's work in me - even to this point. As the Bible says,

"Work out your own salvation with fear and trembling, for it is God who works in you, both to will and to work for his good pleasure."

And,

"I am sure of this, that he who began a good work in you will bring it to completion at the day of Jesus Christ."

God has never ceased to work in me and on me for one moment. Should He remove his buoying of my faith it would sink like a rock. The evidence that God has always done this is that I've endured and there is no endurance without it. For His own pleasure and the sake of His name God has carried this work forward of his own accord and own means for all time and will continue to do so for all time - God will do what I have asked, and is even the cause of my asking!

So, Thursday was the first time I've really prayed in that almost effortless way that comes when God is on you - not me trying to find something to say, but letting out what the Spirit has birthed in me.

The first thing to be faced was my whining about earthly trouble and inconvenice. God was directing me to real hope, not the hope of an easy life on this earth. It still amazes me how naturally I tend to want and even expect that when the Bible is replete with statements that say it is not so, that the road leading to life is narrow and hard, that in this world we will have trouble, that God is shaking this world so that the unshakeable will remain, etc. But real hope is for far more - for all things restored in the return of Christ and our heavenly inheritance in Him. I told God, "I don't want a small hope based in earthly things - increase my hope of heaven!" In the Bible the word hope is both a verb (something you do, e.g. I for heaven), but also a noun (e.g. heaven is my hope). When talking about it as a noun the Bible is always clear that it is a sure, certain, unshakable, imperishable hope - i.e. that the thing we hope (anticipate, or long) for is not in any way uncertain but instead a thing that already exists and will never fade away. "Hope" therefore never expresses lack of certainty (like, "I hope it doesn't rain later", but lack of possession of what we hope for. That's why the Bible asks, "Who hopes for what he already has" (Romans 8:24)? The Bible is clear that a rightly placed hope is a powerful thing that both honours God (to hope in anything else is idolatry) and motivates steadfast endurance (1 Thessalonians 1:3) in doing the works God has called us to. My hope is certainly far more aflame than before!

What these troubles with money do also is test my faith. Already I've had to battle with things just to get here and rely on God to help me get things sorted. He had always said that it was not just teething trouble, but that this sort of trouble and deliverance would characterise my time here throughout. As I'd already hinted before the fact that I might just live quite comfortably would be a bit of a barrier here too when it comes to identifying with the people I want to reach. While I don't pretend for a second that being a bit hard up at times makes me able to relate to people who live in shacks and often have to choose between shelter, clothing, and food, having a slight chafing is a good way to keep conscious that these people live with this and far worse all the time. While I may not fully understand it will help me not to be ignorant or presumptuous, so that's another bonus.

"Faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen" (Hebrews 11:1). Faith, it says, is like spiritual eyesight that gives assurance (just like regular eyesight does) and conviction of unseen (with the eyes) things. It's the evidence, not the conclusion from the evidence. Just as someone might ask, "What colour is the sky?" you would reply, "Blue." "How do you know?" they might ask, to which you could say, "Because I can see it!" Your sight is the evidence you need. So it is with faith - seeing things that cannot be detected with the 5 senses and ultimately needing no further proof (though further proof is always nice, because the question, "Am I seeing things?" is relevant for both kinds of eyesight!). So many of the things I say are faith evaluations - not meaning they're speculation, just that not everyone accepts the grounds on which they're made. When I say, "God is responsible for the situation I'm in" that's a faith evaluation.

The point is that I need a lot more faith! Faith gets built, it doesn't arrive from heaven in a package pre-assembled (generally speaking), and that's what is happening here. I both need to rely on God to make sure I have enough for my needs, but also need faith to continue to give what it's not "safe" to give. That last sentiment hits at the core of what I believe God has been saying throughout the last few months and in all these problems I've had and found solutions to. What makes something "safe"? Well, in terms of money we look and think that if we have a certain amount that that will cover us in the case of any forseeable problems. We trust that the money itself is stable in value/ability to help (which is so often is not!), also that it will stay where it is (not stolen, defrauded, etc), and that it will be enough to help. So we trust that it is stable in power and availability to help. It's not an assessment without merit, but it's far from the full story. The Word of God says that, "Man shall not live by bread alone, but by every word that comes from the mouth of God" (Matthew 4:4). It's commonly said what it means is that we need God's word more than food (which is true), but the context Jesus quotes it from in Deuteronomy confirms that what it means is that man doesn't live by the power of bread to provide life to him, but by God's say-so (word) - his deliberate activity in all things to do what He wants them to do. God is orderly and makes the universe to run according to a certain order (so bread tends to feed you, things that go up come back down, etc), but it's one He's free to change at any moment, just as I can rearrage my CD collection. So Jesus was saying, after 40 days of not eating, "I don't need to make bread in this case because God is showing me that I don't need that to live - it's just a means by which my Father gives his care to me" (after this time he continued to use the regular means that you and I use!). So it isn't the breadiness of bread that sustains Jesus, it isn't the fact that money has some power to sustain me, and it isn't that air keeps me alive by it's own power. These things all do something, but the reason is not in themselves, but in God! That's the lesson!

(Darn! I need the ability to put footnotes in! Okay, when you see things in this format, feel free to skip over them! Anyway, I know some systems of belief thing along similar lines, but go crazy in that they would say things like, "If you throw a ball into the air it might come back down, or it might decide to suddenly go sideways, etc.... it all depends on what God decides to do with it!" As such things like science and learning how things work in such contexts are impossible because they work according to no order or pattern in a general sense but according to the random will of God. But God is not random! He is ordered even in what He is, and He has no curiosity to satisfy by doing weird things, He doesn't change, etc. Hence I can believe that God deliberately chooses everything, but still live a generally everyday life setting alarm clocks, cooking, driving, etc!)

So my VISA and all its requirements that I needed did not get sorted out because the systems and things I used had the power to do it, but because God had said, "I am sending you to Hope Church Durban!" and so made everything else to serve that purpose. So when I see food on my table, or I enjoy good health like I did yesterday, it truly is God I have to thank. Also it means faith is not only expressed but built. When you see God's works of love and care at every step of your life it helps you believe for a few more!

And that's where this is headed. I believe all out that God does miraculous works - not just unlikely ones (what people would generally call providences or coincidences), but ones that defy all non-God-centered logic, like storms being stilled at a word (Mark 4:35ff), or people unable to walk getting healed and discarding their wheelchairs, or people with sight disorders that meant they could never read being able to read instantly because God has healed them (like at Newday this year). I know there are phonies out there, I know weird stuff happens everywhere, but I believe it is God and God alone that does them (whether people know it or not) and I believe He does them primarily through His people and in the name of Jesus. It's a "faith evaluation", but also one that I increasingly see confirmed all around me en masse. Anyway, for the last couple of years I've moved from a general skeptic to someone who believes God would do such miracles in his own life. At present I have seen no one miraculously healed through my ministry though and that's a plain fact. Mostly I've been too tentative to actually pray for people, but when I have it has yielded no results. I must continue to believe what God has said however!

One of my main reasons for coming to South Africa was that the brothers we know here seem to do more of this stuff than people we know in the UK - seeing healings and also seeing people change their lives in response to preaching the gospel. I realise I need to learn, and you learn from people who know. It looks so far like I'll not have anyone who'll be a consistent challenge to me, but I will have a challenge here, I'm sure, and I will grow in this thing.

So why learn that nothing happens but by the say so of God? Well because it means that miracles (as in the direct action of God on the physical world) happen all the time, and that any miracles "proper" (the uncommon direct actions of God on the physical world) are essentially the same thing! Nothing - not one thing - happens apart from God's sovereign action, everday things and miraculous things. People do not get healed because of the power of belief (big relief!) or by the power of prayer or by any power except the power of God! Prayer, and faith, are things that cause God to respond however, and faith is ultimately what he's after more than the healings and miraculous works. So what I must learn is faith, and that's what all this mess with Saabine is growing in me. I very much prayed beyond my circumstances and asked God to carry on growing my faith so that I believe him for all the works He wants to do.

Thus far I had prayed much about hope and faith. But as the Bible says, these are useless without love. Seeing more and more the needs, the people, the desperate state of the nation and the continent, I want to do something and know that only God has the resources to make a difference! I prayed that God would help me to get into the places I need to go to, to not stay secure in a cosy environment, to not give into fear of what might happen, but have faith that He will do all His good purpose for me.

May it be that my faith is increased and works more and more through love (Galatians 5:6), remaining steadfast in the hope given me through the sacrifice of Jesus Christ!